Why did I pick it up?
It was one of those books I got from the box sale at Book Depot so it came with the 40-odd books I got for $35. I actually picked it up because it had no dust jacket and the hard cover underneath was black with this kind of like red-bronze writing to give it the title and author name. I took a chance.
I didn't recognize the author name and I think if I had I probably might have put it down to wait for the rest of the series to come out. Yes, Book 1 in a series of (hopefully) seven books. Book 3 of this series is coming out next month and this was published in 2010 so it looks like I'm in for a wait. ONWARDS!
Review of Wicked Appetite by Janet Evanovich:
I'm going to be straight-up (as I am 99.9% of the time): I'm not sure what to think of this book. I started it on May 25th and finished it in a little over two hours. I kid you not. I started at 8:50AM, read while waiting for my doctor and saw him at about 10:55AM then took five or so minutes to finish the last few pages at home.
So why am I not sure what to think of it? Well, the premise is kind of cool. Lizzie finds out her excellent cupcake making ability is magical (no kidding) and she's an Unmentionable who has the power to find these charms to make a Stone. There are seven stones, each taking after a deadly sin and when combined they'll bring hell to earth. For those that don't know the sins are as follows: Gluttony, Lust, Greed, Pride, Sloth, Wrath, and Envy. I remember them because of Fullmetal Alchemist, not the Bible, by the way. *winks*
Anyway, so we meet Lizzie, learn a bit about her past and she goes to work that morning. She has a run in with the bad guy, Wulf, and then meets Diesel the gorgeous hunk of man who is also an Unmentionable on a mission from BUM (I kid you not, that is the acronym of the organization trying to save the world) to gather the stones and keep them from Wulf...who happens to be his cousin.
See the BUM thing? Yeah, that's kind of what this whole book was like.
Diesel's ass tingles when Wulf is near. He can (possibly?) read Lizzie's mind. There is a lot of cupcake eating. A witch in training can't control her spells and leaves someone talking gibberish then gobbling. A fat person is made fun of. The charms make these four relatives who were left the charms from their uncle hoard weird things: 1) Food and over-eating which makes sense with this being the Gluttony stone. 2) Paddles and dog collars: glutton for punishment, okay. 3) Locks, oil, ferrets...uh? 4) Kids. No really. KIDS. The poor girl has six of them because of the charm. Let's not forget the odd monkey who one minute understands you and the next is being a monkey and flipping everything off. And the cat who's apparently decades old and has one eye and half a tail.
Then there's Hatchet who's the ONLY other person in the state who can do the same as Lizzie: determine if the charm is part of the stone. Once all four charms are together they reveal the stone and the stone tablet where the other stones might be hidden. Do Diesel and Lizzie get the stone? Yep. Do they get the tablet? Nope. They let Wulf have it as Diesel's job was the stone only. *facepalm* Really dude? Really?
Oh and did I mention Diesel and Lizzie can't have sex because if they do one of them looses their powers? This is despite their obvious attraction, Diesel's flirting, Lizzie's drooling over him, and everything else throwing them together in a romantic sense. Oh, what are Diesel's powers? He can unlock a door with a touch and sense Wulf. Oh and he has the power to look good naked.
See, the book was a nice, light, and sometimes entertaining read. I felt like Glo (the witch) was just kind of there for comic relief. And Lizzie's dad coming to visit was just an excuse to get Diesel away from Lizzie long enough so she could be kidnapped by Hatchet. And her not making good cupcakes one day wasn't much of a threat of her losing her powers as she could still sense the charms within hours. It was a kind of bleh tension where there was no tension in the book. I'm not even sure what genre this would be classed in.
Would I read Wicked Appetite again?
I don't even know, no seriously, I've no clue. There were some really great bits to it and some genuinely funny moments but it started to dive into the realm of "jeez I hope this thing is classed as satire" a lot more than I liked. Will I be picking up the rest in the series? To be honest? Nope. I didn't connect with any characters and frankly, I don't care if they ever find the other stones or how.
The Negatives:
So this was my first Janet Evanovich book. The people who have read her before say this is a plot rip-off from her Stephanie Plum series and honestly, there are enough people saying it on the first page of reviews I'm going to have to believe them.
Even hours after finishing this I'm not entirely sure what to think. A monkey giving the finger, farting, burping, making messes of nice cars so they're replaced every day, and behaving poorly is just...I mean, was he needed? The book could have survived without the monkey as a side-character. Cat? Yeah, Cat was needed. And can I just say despite how Cat saves Lizzie's life twice she still calls the poor thing Cat 7184 like it was called at the human society? I mean, what the Hell? This cat saved your life, warned you when you were about to be kidnapped, saved your life again and the best you can do is Cat?
The whole Leonard section was creepy and not in a good way. Creepy-sad even. This guy had a good life and because of this charm he collects paddles and rubber chickens saying he's been a "bad boy" (yes with that in mind) and needs to be spanked. His life becomes ruined because of him becoming a glutton for punishment. I'm still not sure what brother #2 (I can't remember his name) gluttonous idea was besides ferrets, oil, and locks but it pretty much screwed his life too. Not to mention the poor Shirley who gained 200 pounds because of becoming a literal glutton. And Melody who had six kids because of being a glutton for...kids?
Honestly, this concept has a lot of premise. Take out the monkey, the immature jokes (seriously my Mage-teens are more mature than these 20-somethings), and breathe some life into Diesel and Lizzie and you'd have an amazing book. Right now? It falls flat.
Final Review: ?.?/5. I honestly don't even know.
Until next time: comments, questions, thoughts, rants, rage, and out-right insults can be directed to the comments.
Why did I pick it up?
Okay, so this is going to be interesting because the first book for this series came out...oh...13 years ago. Yeah, really. Then the second book came out a year later. The third book? A decade after. Funnier, the third book is hailed to be the sequel to Dragon and Phoenix which is the sequel to Last Dragonlord. Um? What?
Oddness of how Bard's Oath was described as a sequel aside, I picked up the last and final book in this series because my friend mentioned it was on sale at a bookstore we both frequent. I picked up the first and I believe second one in a used bookstore that boasts a million books housed in one area.
I LOVE bookstores like this. You know the ones where you can't walk side by side in a aisle and there's piles of books everywhere and the shelves are double stacked oddly because they're so many books? And you walk in and it just smells so amazingly of old books and reading and love and glory and...sorry.
Back when I couldn't drive (again this series is that old), my friend and I would hop onto the bus on the weekend, head downtown to eat at this Chinese place then go diving into the realm of this used bookstore where I'd come out with a bag of a dozen books or so and she'd come out with one or two. She wouldn't finish her one or two by the time I finished my dozen but I've always been a quick reader with a huge appetite. Teachers would get mad at me for reading in class then be stunned when I gave them the right answer to whatever question they were asking and got some of the highest marks in said class.
This one time, we had a sub for physics and I was reading during the lesson cuz I figured this stuff out already. He asked me a question, I answered, and he stood their drop-jawed for a minute and left me alone. When it came time to do the homework in class, I finished then went back to reading while he just kind of stared. It was good day...ONWARDS!
The Review of The Last Dragonlord series by Joanne Bertin:
So I do have to mention: I LOVE DRAGONS. Anything that has dragon in the title or implies there will be dragons I automatically pick it up and read it. If you get to ever read my fiction, you'll notice in most of it I mention a dragon in some way at some point. So naturally I'd pick up this series. Naturally I'd still be wondering about it during the gap of time that occurred between book 2 and book 3.
The first time I read book one I think I finished it in a few days. Book two was the same. The second time I ploughed through this series I finished it in about a week. I remembered most of what happened in Book One but for some reason, Book two escaped me. I didn't remember what happened at the end but it was obvious I'd been through it as I turn down the top corner of whatever page I'm on if I take a break and there were old marks of turned down pages. I'd also highlighted character names cuz I'm fun like that.
Book three? You could tell the first two books had foreshadowing once you got to the third. The thing with Leet at the Dragonlord's home? Ha, made so much sense now. What I don't get is how long it took them to figure out something bad was going down. I mean really. Leet's whole bearing dictated something was up and it should have been investigated much deeper earlier than it was.
I did get annoyed at the whole thing with Pod and almost skipped her chapters a few times because why should I give a crap about this character who didn't exist before? Give me more Raven, Linden, and Maurynna. And then it made sense. Oooh...okay. Wait. That's a bit...convenient.
I did love the general story. I disliked how long it took everyone to figure out what was going on and how Linden had to prove to people it was all Leek's fault. Um, wait, wait, didn't it mention in the first book a Dragonlord's words are basically law? And here's people going against four of them? EH?
And how Leet meets his demise. Really? We're going to go there with him not suffering at all? Raven's whole being pissed at Linden thing is annoying as all Hell (Book 2). She's claimed you idiot! By powers you cannot hope to overcome! AT ALL! I think this carried over into Book 3 a bit but I can't remember, being totally honest. It was a few months ago I burned through the series again and...yeah.
Despite the few annoyances: this is another one of those series that will stick with me for a long while. Why? Weredragons. Yes. Linden, Maurynna, and all the other Dragonlords were awesome. I could've done without Raven to be honest. Otter was amazing. Let me be real here, I might have been able to do without the last book.
Oh and that hit at the end where Linden figures out he messed things up cuz of mind-hitting up Otter? Why? Why did that need to be like that? Couldn't it have been random mermaids and we leave it at that?
And in book two we totally leave behind the whole Phoenix line with no indication of what's happening in that area of the world. Um, crazy woman with an heir to the Phoenix throne left out there with no indication of where she is? Yeah, what? You think she's not going to try and find someone to reseal the new Phoenix and re-claim the lost throne? Come now.
Would I read The Last Dragonlord Series again?
Yes. Over a week. Again. As much as a few points and dropped balls in this series left me annoyed I really did love it.
The Negatives:
Aforementioned dropped balls. The whole Phoenix flying off thing and no mention of that area of the world at all in Book Three. The whole everyone being "Well if we missed Maurynna and Sha, who else did we miss?" was SO IMPORTANT...and dropped. No investigation into other non-seen dragonlords. No one even talking about the fact they thought Linden was the last then came two more out of the blue. No backstory with Otter/Leet/Jaida.
Linden didn't struggle with Rathan, didn't dodge Shan and didn't even mention his sword. The entire focus was on Leet and his whole desire to get revenge on a backstory we've known nothing about. I waited a decade for that? A DECADE AND NO NEW DRAGONLORD? Urg.
And a final thought: Is the green dragon on all three covers meant to be Maurynna? Cuz if so that's totally not what I picture her to look like. Really, shouldn't it be a red dragon (Linden) on the first cover or the peacock blue of Mauryanna, a black on the second (Sha) and the third either Linden or Maurynna (whoever wasn't on the first)? I mean, who is the green dragon? No one was even mentioned being green...
Final rating: 3/5, mainly because of book 3. Books 1 and 2 were great, awesome and amazing. Book 3 took a totally different turn and bleh.
Until next time: thoughts, comments, questions, rages, rants, questions, and out-right insults can be directed to the comments.
Why did I pick it up?
The first reason is it was another one of those books that came from the $35/box of books sale at the Book Depot where I got around 45-50 books for $35. The second reason? I devour anything having to do with vampires. Yes, I even read Twilight. The first book of the series anyway. Third reason? Awesome cover.
The Review of Fat Vampire by Adam Rex:
The books starts with Doug: chunky, nerdy, and insecure at a Com-con with his best friend. Oh and Doug's a vampire. A fat vampire who's not sexy, or savvy, or dark, or handsome or any adjective having to do with the traditional vampire. In fact, Doug regularly has to feast on cows or resort to stealing blood from the local blood bank van at said Com-con.
Doug has to walk around in a poncho and despite his (accidental) vampire status he does not become the new cool kid or get any kind of powers to make up for his, well, fatness. His words, not mine. I'm okay with extra body fat.
Anyway, around half-way or so the hilarious one-liners and general funniness kind of dives. Doug suddenly decides he's going to ditch his best friend and basically hypnotize one of the theater girls into being his blood-slave/girlfriend. Mind you this change does come about when he's rejected by the new exchange student, an Indian girl named Sejal.
Sejal's backstory becomes way more interesting than Doug's entire situation and Doug kind of gets tossed into the background despite being the entire reason the books come about. There's some odd mention about a vampire hunter's TV show where Doug is being chased down as a prime suspect, and there's a play all the kids at school are part of. There's also the fact the whole reason Sejal transferred is because she became addicted to her computer and her parents sent her overseas for a kind of rehab.
The mystery of how Doug became a vampire (along with a few of the football players at his school apparently) isn't so much of a mystery in the end. It's a bit insulting the gay vampire was the one who wanted to turn a whole hoard of high school kids so one of them would kill him. Worse yet all the kids (the football players, NOT Doug) he turned were so insecure about a male turning them they made up some story about a hot chick.
The motives were kind of...bleh. Now, if it was left as a kind of coming-of-age story of how nerdy, chunky, forever-15 Doug learns how to deal with being a vampire, it would have been cool. But no, it kind of drifts off into some odd there-MUST-be-a-villain plot that leaves the reader thinking "Huh?"
I do have to say the cover art was good and it's one of the other reasons I picked it up, besides it being about a vampire and being a book I could get for $0.50.
Now, if we take the book as being a satirical piece of fiction: it succeeds. I'm not sure if it was meant to be satire though but we'll pretend.
Would I read it again?
Probably not because of the ending.
The Negatives:
THAT ENDING! WHAT THE BLOODY HELL?! URG. Doug doesn't get to see any redemption and the reader is left with a literal list when the author breaks the fourth wall (to an extent) and describes possible endings for Doug. WHAT? NO! I don't want possible endings! DID HE DIE OR NOT? Jeez. This is the first time in a long while I've wanted to toss a book across the room in frustration.
Final review: 1/5 all because of the freaking ending and Doug's downhill transformation. Even if meant to be satirical that ending was so disappointing. If the ending had been different and the book stuck with the themes in the first half this would have been a 5-star review.
Until next time: comments, rants, rage and questions cane be directed to the comments.
Why did I pick it up?
New Stephen King baby, why didn't I pick it up would be a better question. I own most of his books and at some point have read a good deal of them. I couldn't do the history-type novel (11/22/63) he put out a couple of years ago. For some reason I've never been able to get through The Stand, The Shining and I abandoned Danse Macabre recently.
I own Doctor Sleep but since it's a sequel to The Shining, I'm kind of wanting to slog through that before moving onto the sequel. I'll get there eventually.
My favorite King novels? Carrie, Thinner, Gerald's Game, The Long Walk, Cell, The Girl who Loved Tom Gordan, Under the Dome, Pet Semetary, IT, Lisey's Story, Christine, Bag of Bones, and The Dark Tower Series. You can actually see a glaringly obvious tribute to Dark Tower Series in Tale of the Twins. There are a BUNCH I'm missing because I suck at titles, but yes, I generally adore King. I've yet to pick up Mr. Mercedes since it is a trilogy and I've a thing where I must have the thing ended before I read the whole thing...which is why Dark Tower kinda bugs me.
He's influenced a lot of my gorier horror and sarcastic comedy moments. I love how he can write a short story and bang out a novel over 400 pages. I love he's got so many books but not all of them are perfect and some of them some people (like me) can't stand. Everyone has their favorites with him and everyone has the ones they don't like and that's freaking awesome.
And ending the King fangirl-ness, moving onto the book itself. ONWARDS!
The Review of Revival by Stephen King:
So, first off: there's no body in the beginning. Nope, just a six year old boy, pardon, a 60-something man recounting his life from six to the age he is now. But this is King. We know the horror is coming. He foreshadows it coming when he first talks about Jacobs. And are we disappointed with the horror that comes to Jacobs? I wasn't. Totally knew it was coming from the set-up of seizure farmer driving the same road as Jacobs' wife but the whole "where's his FACE?" and one-armed wife? That was cool.
The minister (Jacobs) losing his faith? Predicable. Getting up at the pulpit and telling people why he lost his faith? That was pretty kick ass. Jamie losing his faith shortly after because he likes the minister? Predicable. Jamie being so good at rhythm guitar, playing in multiple bands, and becoming a druggie? Story of lives. Running into Jacobs at a fair and getting electro-shock treatment to be cured by Jacobs with Jacobs' home-made electro pulse machine? Wait, what? YES.
We see hints of said machine when Jamie's brother loses his voice and Jacobs' is the one to bring it back before Jacobs' horror happens. Anyway, Jamie and Jacobs part again then is found by Jamie's new boss (one Jacobs sets him up with) a few years later.
Then shit starts to hit the fan. We find out Jacobs has been curing people with not just his old carnie show but with his new healing show. Is he doing this for recognition? Because he's nice? Nope. They're all guinea pigs because he has a bigger goal in mind for his special electricity but Jamie's not sure what said goal is.
Of course Jamie and his boss Hugh go to see the show. Of course Hugh has revealed he was healed by Jacobs and that's why he took on Jamie in the first place. Course Hugh freaks out and has a color-episode. Then Jamie just can't let Jacobs go. Why? Because some of the people Jacobs has healed have had harmful episodes. Jamie's had one in which he randomly wakes up and starts stabbing himself. A woman cured from blindness put salt in her eyes. A kind cured from a disease ends up in a mental institution then hangs himself. One guy eats dirt.
So Jamie confronts Jacobs who wants to hire him but Jamie says no and Jacobs (in his 70s now) disappears only to reappear to say to Jamie: you can either help me or I'll let the only woman you ever loved die of her lung cancer. So Jamie helps. And Jamie cuts a deal he'll go back to Jacobs when the obsessed electricity man wants.
And Jamie does go back and we find out why Jacobs is doing what he's doing: he wants to find out what happen to his wife and son. And he does. By bringing back a dead woman during a thunderstorm. By doing so he unlocks something in all his former healed patients and they all kill a loved one and themselves...except Jamie because for some reason unexplained, he was the catalyst Jacobs needed in all this.
And what awaits us after death? Freaky ant overlords who make us slave under them for the hell of it. No peace. No redemption. Just ants whipping us if we fall down and total torture for our unlives. THERE is the horror. The part about Jamie's older brother (the first healed, remember) and Jamie still getting the visions of said ant folks? The icing on the cake.
THIS IS KING. The build-up. The odd-ness. The loving the characters and knowing them like they're your family. The CRUSHING of said characters so thoroughly. This is King. All that shit starts with E.
Would I read Revival again?
I'm going to have to cuz I burned through it on May 19th. Yes. One. Day. I nearly died but I couldn't put it down.
The Negatives:
I wish it was longer. I wish there was a bit more explanation about Clair but I get why Jamie didn't go into it. When something that traumatic happens to a family member then you don't want to talk about it.
Final Review: 5/5. This is a revival for Stephen King. This breathed new life into wanting to pick up the few books I'm missing and re-reading him from the beginning. Yes, I know I'm nuts. So sue me.
Until next time: thoughts, comments, rages, rants, questions, and out-right insults can be directed to the comments.
Why did I pick it up?
To be honest: I can't remember. I think it was in a three-pack, a finished series, and priced well so I grabbed it. See, I love when a series is finished, all together and ready to go like that. It means I don't have to wait a year or more for the next book thus forgetting everything that happened in prior books which generally forces me to read the prior books. I'm also impatient when it comes to knowing what happens next, so much so that I'll look for a summary somewhere so I don't have to wait.
Funny story, so I started watching The Walking Dead when it was in its second season. I got to the point where they leave Merle on the roof with his hand cuffed and a bunch of Walkers ready to break through the door. I was binge-watching and it was almost midnight, too late to see what happened to him so I turned off Netflix then went to look up what happened to him. Yes, I totally spoiled it for myself but that's okay. I'm one of those weird people who doesn't care about spoilers. You can tell me the ending of any movie I haven't seen or book I haven't read and I'll still watch or read it.
Anyway, I started this series right after finishing Harry Potter so...March-ish and finished it in a week. Yes, three books in one week. They were that good. ONWARDS!
The Review of The Smoke and Bone Series by Laini Taylor:
Normally I don't do a full post on a series but I kind of got really into this series and completely forgot to do a review after each book then started reading another series and here we are. Oops?
Anyway, our story follows Karou who's an art student in Prague. At first I had no idea what was going on and I remember being annoyed that this girl had such a blasé attitude about being strange. Then she started explaining how things she wished for came true...like her naturally blue hair. Then she met up with Brimstone. Well okay. AWESOME.
I mean that seriously. Suddenly we're thrown into a world where angels are trying to destroy demons and Karou has no freaking clue why or what's going on. She does see all the portals to Brimstone's world destroyed and the first book ends with Brimstone's death. Karou falls in love with one of the angels and it turns out the reason she has these eye tattoos on her hands (that hurt the angels no less) is because this is her second body. Yeah, you read that right. Her second body.
Originally she was a "demon" (chimera) who had been killed for loving that same angel and wanting to change the world. Brimstone managed to save her soul, make her body (a completely human one) and re-birth her, making up a complete lie of a life in an attempt to save her. Well see, NOW I'm really invested.
I believe this is where we moved into the second book. Again, I read them exceptionally quickly so my memory could be a little hazy. Turns out the angels are still killing the chimera but now that Karou's finally figured out who she is, she takes over for Brimstone's job: being the chimera resurrectionalist. Yes that's right, it's become Karou's job to bring the chimera who've fallen in battle back to life.
There's a whole bunch of awesome political stuff going on with the White Wolf and the leader of the angels, then we find out what the angels really are, and some more cool things happen. I don't want to get into too many details as it'll ruin the books.
These books were amazing. It's rare a book can capture me so effortlessly I can't put it down. This did it, all three of them and I wanted to stay up until I'd read them all. I do have to say I was weary about the story being set in Prague because of another book I read I ended up not liking. And being honest, this story would have survived if not set in Prague. Yeah, okay, Prague has this whole mystery thing going on around it with magic, etc, but I think the story would have had as much impact if it happened in any other city in the world.
Regardless, the story was great. I loved Karou and Zazuna. I was upset when we found out Brimstone was dead. Seriously I almost cried because he was an awesome character and finding out about the real him and Karou was great. Right after that: bam, he's dead. Urg. Overall: I was and still am impressed with the trilogy.
Would I read the Smoke and Bone Series again?
Hell to the yes. Over one weekend. Again. Because I'm cool like that.
The Negatives:
I can't find any negatives in this series. Like I said, the only thing that miffed me was it being in Prague. The other was how we were introduced to Karou and her strange ways. Kind of like, thrown into her oddness without really knowing how or why she was so odd. I almost didn't make it past the second chapter but held on and I'm glad I did.
Now, some of the negatives I am seeing is the fact Karou is a reincarnation of someone else. I think what people aren't getting is that this is kinda, sorta, integral to the plot of the entire series. There would be no book if that "someone else" didn't die and Karou didn't come about. And really: exact same soul with all old life experiences in new body with new life experiences. Not so much a reincarnation: an upgrade if you will. Karou is both this other person and herself.
The romance: Karou falling for Akiva totally and completely. Yes but then she leaves him at the end is entirely pissed at him for everything and yeah, eventually they get back together, yadda, yadda, but not until after they force separation on themselves and all the other fun stuff. Again: Angel falls in love with demon so yes it's kind of important the two have the whole "love at first sight" thing going on. And remember, Karou's soul remembers who Akiva was to her before she was killed. So yes. There is going to be an instant bond.
What I find really funny? How one person hated Karou's former being but love Karou herself. Again: without Karou's other being, half, life, we wouldn't have Karou so...yeah. Personally I would've loved to see more of this other self in the beginning chapters.
Final Review: 5/5 I adore this book and it's one of few that will stick with me for years to come.
Until next time: thoughts, comments, rages, rants, questions, and out-right insults can be directed to the comments.
Why did I pick it up?
Again, continuation of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. I'm still loving the last few books more than the first few. It's like Rowling's writing matures as her characters mature and it's cool.
So, I started this one on Feb 15 and finished it sometime in the beginning of March. I kind of forgot to write the blog post once I finished it and yeah. New time slot at work, yadda, yadda, bleh. Anyway, the book itself is 607 pages, at least my copy is so, around the same page count the last few have been.
The Review of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince by JK Rowling:
The first chapter with the Prime Minister meeting the new Minister of Magic...eh. I think it could have been dropped. Sure it was kind of cool to know the Minister of Magic talks to Prime Minister and what not but as a chapter itself? Not worth 24 pages. Next up came Snape, Bellatrix, and her sister who's Malfoy's mom making a pack. This was cool. We get to speculate why Snape needs to take over for Draco in the task Voldemort's set him up for.
After 42 pages we get to see Harry cleaning his room and leave Privet Drive. Dumbledore comes to pick up Harry and they head off to see the potential new Defense of the Dark Arts teacher.
What's cool in this novel is Harry learning about the Horcruxes and how Voldemort managed to survive the backlash of the killing curse which should have killed Harry. I also like how Slughorn is weaved around the backstory of Voldemort and the Horcruxes and how Harry is slowly learning about Voldemort's life.
What I didn't like? Dumbledore not telling Harry what he's doing or why. Dumbledore knows the liquid in the basin is horrible but drinks it anyway. Then well, Dumbledore dies. All he tells Harry is that Harry must destroy the other Horcruxes so Voldemort can be killed once and for all. Doesn't tell Harry how to get to them. Doesn't tell them what they are but does speculate with him what they could be. Doesn't even give Harry any indication of what's to come in the next book information wise (I'm writing this blog post after reading the 7th book...ooops) and just...doesn't do a lot of things.
Now, there is the whole rumour around that was confirmed about Dumbledore being gay. I didn't see it. Like, AT ALL. Did I need a sparkly banner hanging over him announcing he's a gay character? Nope. All I needed is somewhere in all these conversations Harry and Dumbledore have is for Harry to have asked something like: "Why has there never been a Miss Dumbledore?" And for Dumbledore to say he wasn't interested in women.
Hell, I would've liked Harry to ask about Dumbledore's past in general. I mean, yeah, great, have him regret asking about Dumbledore's past after Dumbledore is dead but in general when you start to get close to someone you tend to ask where they came from.
I mean yes, Harry's got a lot on his plate but you would think he'd have thought to ask Dumbledore something about his past. I mean Dumbledore's obviously lived a long rich life full of secrets. Why wouldn't you?
Dumbledore's death scene and funeral were perfect. The emotion, the shock, and Harry's announcement not to go back to Hogwarts: excellent in their execution. There are a lot of little bits left unanswered for Book 7 and I love how everything gets tied up in the final book. But, more on Deathly Hallows in the next post.
What's kind of fun is the potions book Harry's "cheating" from turns out to be Snape's. The panic when Harry uses the made-up spell and almost kills Malfoy: awesome. Also, I totally get where the "wand fight in the bathroom" memes come from now. Bonus. :P
Also: life went on for the students of Hogwarts. The sixth years learn to Apparate, there's some romance, heart-break the Muggles begin realizing something bad may be happening in the world.
And, do we all remember the piece of mirror Harry kept from his god-father's gift breaking? No? Well, remember it. He keeps it. And yes, it does come up in the last book.
Oh and I love Fleur's line: "I am pretty enough for both of us!" Taken out of context it doesn't sound like much but it says a lot about her character and who she is as a person.
The Negatives:
Again, lots going on. This isn't horrible in the slightest as I do enjoy a book with complex happenings. What happened in prior books starts to make sense the further on you go in the series which is especially true between books 6 and 7. You CANNOT skip book 6 in anyway or you'd be totally lost in 7.
The formula has been done to death and the threat of Hogwarts closing is an empty and unneeded one. We know it won't close. Why? Well where the Hell else is Harry going to have his final battle with Voldemort? It won't be in the middle of some random street or in a place with lots of people. It's going to be a place where the two orphans (Harry and Voldemort) found home for the first time.
Some agreements I have with the 1-star reviewers: The word "snog" really throws me for a loop. I realized the book was written in England but...snog. It sounds gross, not this loving thing you do with your SO of choice. Also, when the Hell did Harry ever decide he liked Ginny? Where's Voldemort? What happened to Dumbledore's hand and why won't he explain?
What I would have agreed with if I didn't know most of the plot: Dumbledore pleading for death from Snape. As stated: I've all ready read Book 7 and even before I kind of knew why Snape did what he did so Dumbledore wasn't pleading when I read his death scene. He was telling Snape to do as Dumbledore had requested.
There is A LOT of information packed into this book. It's dark. There's death. Bill gets mauled by a child-eating werewolf (you read that right) but there is a lot of emphasise on love in this sucker.
It's basically a huge set up for Book 7. Could it have been done in less pages? Yep. Did there have to be so much focus on love? Eh, probably not. Was Dumbledore's death needed? Yep. Why? You have to knock out the ONE PERSON who everyone relies on in time of war to create better conflict. It's just how it works.
Again I do have to note: I would have a lot more negatives here and be in agreement with everything the 1-star reviewers are saying if I didn't all ready know some plot points going into the series and hadn't read book 7 before this review.
Final Review: 2/5 for children and heavy readers. The children wouldn't be enjoying the much darker world of Harry Potter and the adults might be suffering from "omg-mushy-immature" romance issues.
Until next time: thoughts, comments, rages, rants, questions, and out-right insults can be directed to the comments section.
Why did I pick it up?
Continuation of Harry Potter and the TwiWizard Tournament, pardon, Goblet of Fire. There are two books left in the series and I'm disappointed. I'm starting to like Harry Potter as a whole. Yes, a whole. I could do without books 1-3 but 4 and 5? These are where JK Rowling starts to shine.
I started Order of the Phoenix on February 9th and finished on Feb 14th, so five days. I had more time to read it during work breaks, waiting for the e-test on my car, and what not. The book itself is 766 pages which is up 100 from Goblet of Fire. Yes, massive so don't let my five day read time fool you.
Actually funny story. So, I'm reading Order at work and one of the people in my training class asks: "Which one are you reading now?" So I show him the cover and he says "Wow, you're going through those quick." And being me I say: "It's only around 600 pages." Him: "Only 600 pages...*shocked look and leaves*" I need to come with signage proclaiming I'm a voracious reader once I get into it...
The Review of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix by JK Rowling:
Same formula and yes, new Defense of the Dark Arts teacher is introduced. Can't one person stick around longer than a year? I mean really.
Anyway, Harry has his bad summer but this time Ron and Hermione aren't telling him anything. When he's finally picked up it's after facing down Dementors in his muggle-foster family's world. He has to save his cousin then because he uses magic, faces expulsion from Hogwarts (which we know isn't going to happen), is then saved by Dumbledore's interference, almost thrown out of the muggle-house, is saved by a mysterious letter and his aunt (who hates him but has to keep the promise the person in the letter is shouting about), and is then taken to a secret place by a dozen wizards. The kid never have a dull summer, I'll give him that.
The threat of expulsion is weak simply because Harry's defending himself against Dementors but so much emphasis is put on Harry being nervous and it's a bit tedious. The secret place is the home base of the Order of the Phoenix who Sirius, Lupine, Mad-Eye, and many more are a part of and who's job is to protect the uninformed wizard community against Volty's return.
I knew something bad was going to happen when the Black (Sirius') house-elf appeared on the scene. The concept of the house elf (Brownie) is disturbing. They're slaves, plain and simple but are forced to like being slaves. They love serving their masters so much they find it insulting when Hermione knits hats and scarves to give them to set them free. The entire concept of freedom is an insult. That's just...wrong.
Back to the plot. So Harry has some horrible nightmares and it turns out he's seeing and feeling what Voldemort sees and feels because of the scar connection. There is a lot of anger in this book, mainly from Harry, and I have to admit about half way through I wanted to reach through and give the kid a chill pill. Of course that's around where we find out Voldemort's affecting Harry's emotions, so hey. Plus Harry's 15 so it makes sense his first emotion to something not going his way is righteous anger, pardon, teenage anger but this is over the top. Speaking of over the top...
Umbridge, the Dark Arts teacher has been Ministry Appointed for the sole purpose of taking over the school is...wow. She's who the bad guy is for this novel and my god is she a terror. She has a quill that when you write something with it, carves it into your hand which she makes Harry use. She bans Harry, Fred and George Weasley from Quiddich for life after they attacked Malfory. Yes, they did deserve punishment but not a lifetime ban. She tilts the favor to the Slytherin house and doesn't even bother teaching Dark Arts. This last point is what makes Ron and Hermione get Harry to start Dumbledore's Army, AKA: Defense of the Dark Arts. Why Dumbledore's Army? Because the Ministry of Magic wants Dumbledore sacked for saying Voldemort's come back.
There was a lot going on in this book and a major fight scene at the end. Another character dies but again Harry is kind of an idiot. Sirius gave him a gift and said "If you ever need to contact me, use this" but of course Harry doesn't open it because he doesn't want to tempt Sirius out of hiding. If Harry had opened it then he would have avoided half the issues in the book. The big one is being caught by Umbridge and being tricked by the house elf. Oh and the character dying. Yeah, that would've been completely avoided. ENTIRELY. The death itself wasn't even needed though.
But if it had been avoided then we wouldn't have found out Voldemort was after a prophecy dealing with him and Harry which basically reveals Harry's birth, that Voldermort would mark Harry as an equal and the only person who could defeat Voldermort for good was Harry. One of them must die...but we kind of knew that. I do find it cool Neville also could have fit the prophecy. Not cool that the mains found out what happened to his parents the way they did.
Luna Lovegood is introduced and let me say: YES. I love the quirky characters and she fits the bill. She's also competent magic wise and ends up being a huge help in the novel. I adore Fred and George as characters too and in here they became a bit more than comic relief. They provided Harry with a means to contact Sirius (even though he had a safer way and was an idiot about using it, re: the gift) as well as gave Umbridge a helluva run for her money. I also love their exit. If you're going to leave school: turn a hallway into a swamp and cause absolute chaos. *claps*
The Threshal's were an interesting concept...and of course they can fly at supersonic speeds to transport the gang to the Ministry when they needed it. Everything happens for a reason and sometimes it's a bit too convenient. But I'm sure every writers has done sometime similar at least once.
A few plot holes: Krum's just not mentioned after the whole TriWizard thing besides Hermione writing to him. And what about Harry's Firebolt? And why the Hell is Malfoy still allowed at school when he's the son of a Death Eater who's now in jail? And yes, another Dark Arts teacher bites the dust. Just give it to Snape all ready...speaking of: total drop of the ball here. He's such an interesting character and...nothing.
One thing I really liked? Harry realized how stupid he was in going after the character who died and not paying attention to Snape's extra lessons. Too bad it took someone close to him dying and his two BFFs being injured horribly.
Would I read Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix again?
Yes. There was a bunch going on which makes for an interesting book. I'm probably missing a bunch plot devices, holes, or whatever and now I understand why people re-read the books so often.
The Negatives:
Good God the formula! I understand Harry has to go back to his aunt's to keep the spell going, yadda, yadda, but can we have a summary page then just move on? And can we keep a Dark Arts teacher for longer than a year? There are all ready a lot of characters in the book, why add more?
It irks me beyond belief the people helping Voldemort were simply imprisoned or let off. You would think with all the spells and potions wizards could tell who's lying and be able to do the bad apples in. It's common sense NOT to keep the enemy alive and well and to finish off all his supporters when he's gone. But, kid's book so...
So far all the reviews are saying this is the weakest book. I can agree there was A LOT going on (probably too much) and the death occurred (though great on Rowling killing a Darling) didn't do anything but to further throw Harry into misery. And yes, he did go from a fairly optimistic boy to an angst-filled teen in the course of two weeks or less. He did start to perk back up in the end.
I also agree the book was released too soon and could have done with another round of editing. And seriously, was the point of Sirius' gift to Harry just to stab Harry with a knife again? That was cruel.
Final Review: 3.5/5 for both voracious readers and kids. The fight scene was good, confusing but good, and the books are becoming darker which is generally a no-no for the kid's in the age bracket this book is for.
Until next time: thoughts, comments, rages, rants, questions, and out-right insults can be directed to the comments section.
Why did I pick it up?
Continuation of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Again, I don't stop reading a series unless it's gone past 17 books and it's still freaking going with no end in sight. Even then I wait till the remainder of the books come up then finish it. Said 17+ book series I'm waiting on is currently up to 18 planned books with nine short stories in nine different anthologies so no, I am not impressed. There are also THREE other 10+ book series said author is working on, yes, all at once. I kind of wish I never picked up that first book...
ANYWAY. We're talking a nice 7-book series known as Harry Potter. I started this one on February 3rd and finished it on February 8th. Yes it almost took me a week. You'll see why shortly.
The Review of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by JK Rowling:
First I have to say: YES! THIS is the book where JK Rowling has evolved as an author. The general pattern is still the same: we see Harry with his foster muggle parents, Harry goes to see Ron, they see something mysterious (wrong place at wrong time syndrome) and Harry has a new challenge to face at school, new Defense of the Dark Arts teacher met, challenge resolved with Harry doing something amazing while breaking some rules, and Harry heading home to his muggle foster parents.
BUT, the mystery aspect in this one is MUCH MORE DEFINED. There are a lot more suspects for why this is happening to Harry and I was surprised when it was revealed. I expected one of two but not the person it actually was then it wasn't actually that person but someone pretending to be that person. It was great.
Also, JK Rowling KILLED HER DARLINGS! She introduced one in the last book then just, BAM, killed him in front of Harry. Was the death needed? Heck yes. Did the death impact Harry? HECK yes. Did the dying character suffer? No, it wasn't long drawn out torture, just the killing curse and done but still. This was a great death and relevant to the story and the books. She also killed someone right in the beginning too: got us to know him and kind of care then knocked him down. Good job.
The way Voldemort comes back and the way everything was planned out by him and his minions was amazing. It was well planned, wonderfully executed, and that ending. This is the writing I've been waiting for as an adult reading younger fiction.
There are still some tweaks needed here and there because it's not entirely believable the Head of the Ministry of Magic won't take a threat like Voldemort seriously. Honestly, I think Fudge not believing Dumbledore and Snape was a bit much.
I do like that Dumbledore doesn't hide anything from the Hogwarts students and tells them flat out Voldemort is back, Harry saw it with his own eyes, and yes, Volty (hehe) killed the character.
I don't believe that Harry can't figure out where Hagrid and the Madame are going. They're half giants Harry, and Voldemort wants the giants on his side (as you heard), where the Hell do you think they're going?
I do like how Harry does suspect Snape might be working as a double agent now. The whole battle scene with Voldemort was kind of, I don't know. If my villain was so horrible and evil then he would've killed Harry outright. Screw talking: he wouldn't even have untied him from the gravestone to give him a fighting chance. It would've been Avada Kedavra and done. I guess Volty learned that lesson the hard way when Harry escaped.
The Goblet of Fire is mentioned one or twice and has a five page or so scene. So it's a catalyst, yes, but I think something else should have been used, like Harry Potter and the Triwizard Tournament. Why? Because the games was the focus of the book. The cup was more of a piece of equipment that could have easily been replaced by anything. I guess Goblet of Fire sounds cooler though.
I also LOVE how we get some backstory on Neville and Harry shows compassion towards the poor kid. We also realize why Neville knows the Cruciastus Curse (crucio) and why he's being raised by his grandmother. I was tearing up at this reveal and I'm so glad Harry went along with Dumbledore's request and didn't tell Hermione and Ron about Neville's parents and that Harry felt that Neville should be the one getting some sympathy from the other students about his parents. As Harry said "Sure, he (Harry) was an orphan but Neville had living parents who could no longer recognize him."
The ending with Harry coming back, the big reveal of who was going all this, and Harry on the train was perfect. I love that Harry, realizing he's a privileged wizard who has money to spare, gives his prize money to Fred and George. It shows who he is as a person. I also love how he wants to save all the hostages in the second task and he's willing to share the prize with Cedric, hell he tells Cedric what the first task is because he doesn't want Cedric to be hurt. This is good character development right here.
Harry doesn't break the rules so much, not to the extent of the other books anyway. Everyone else is breaking the same rules so it's not as horrible when Harry does it which is nice to see. But, one such rule being broken isn't even mentioned: Krum (Quiddich player and competitor against Harry in the Triwizard Tournament) using crucio (illegal to use against other wizards) on Cedric. Harry just kind of forgets to mention it.
With how the last feast goes, I suspect there won't be another new Defense of the Dark Arts Teacher in Hogwarts next year which is nice. It's good to break pattern.
Would I read Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire again?
Yes, most definitely and I might even do it without reading the books before it.
The Negatives:
The formula, oh God, change it up! Maybe start off when Harry's at the school or something. The time it took for Harry to get from summer to school seemed to be so much longer too but every part was needed or nothing would make sense later. The thing that really bothers me about the whole series is all these former Death Eaters were either imprisoned or given a second chance.
Never mind they conspired with the most evil wizard in history and killed innocent people, we'll totally give 'em a second chance if they give us names. Yeah, no. I honestly don't believe people would do that and I sure as Hell don't believe in second chances when it comes to that. Sure, if show you can be reformed, great. But everyone suspected Malfoy's dad would go back to Voldemort and guess what? He did. Worse yet, they're still letting his kid go to Hogwarts where Harry Potter, you know the person Voldemort wants to kill, lives. Yeah, smart. Go going.
See, if the same events had taken place in any one of my magic-ruled worlds, every one of Voldemort's supporters would have been killed, including the Dementors. I mean, who's bright idea is it to let the Dementors (who would go help Voldemort if he asked) guard the place where Voldemort's henchmen are imprisoned? Where's the sense in that? Kill off the henchmen, especially when you don't see a body for Voldemort and know that even if he does come back, he won't have any support. If the Ministry had done that then maybe all Voldemort would have is Wormtail. And ya can't do much with that guy.
To the 1-star reviews:
Again, Pottermore website. The Hell, Rowling, the Hell? With so many complaints about downloading the book from the site or receiving the wrong copy of the book, being misled on the condition, etc, someone should've looked into this by now.
There are some people saying it's not for kids and well, to each there own. I read IT at 12 and am no worse for wear. I do find it funny that my one cousin let her kid read Harry Potter at 10 but not Hunger Games because there's a lot of killing in both series. Goblet of Fire is where the darkness starts seeping in and yes, it is for a mature audience.
A lot of the people don't seem to get Harry is 14 now. One says he's "suddenly interest in girls especially the fat French girl". Two things: 1) Harry is 14. Yes, he is "suddenly" interested in girl but was interested in Cho when he first met her in the last book. 2) the fat French girl is a watered down version of the Veela who are seductresses by nature in the book. Yeah "suddenly" *snorts*
I also find that I'm the complete opposite when it comes to the series. Everyone thinks 1-3 are totally awesome and 4 sucks where I think 1-3 are okay and four is one of the better ones.
The "TOO LONG" comments are entirely justified especially when the page count in the series goes from 350 to 634. Yeah, the fourth book is MASSIVE compared to the others but rightfully so. There's a lot going on and more mystery involved. Yes the front part was needed because now you know who Krum is and why everyone acts the way they do in the later stages of the book.
I could agree Rita and SPEW weren't really needed as plot elements though it DOES give us a nice insight to Hermione's character. She cares about other people and shows her brilliance by deducing how Rita is finding out all this stuff she shouldn't know.
The "pure evil" villain is a disappointment though. Yes, I get they're villains but their needs to be some sort of justification to their villainy just like Harry needs to have justification in lying, cheating, using illegal curses, etc. I like Harry's not a saint but it bothers me that Voldemort and his posse have NO redeeming characteristics. They're pure evil for the sake of being evil. It bugs me.
There are some spelling mistakes, wrong words, and quotes missing during dialogue which is bothersome. I'm no grammar guru so I can't point it all out but if I'm finding something then an editor reading this might find way more.
Final Review: 3.5/5 for the voracious readers. 3.5/5 for intended audience (darker concepts is the main reason here.)
Until next time: thoughts, comments, rage, rants, questions, and out-right insults can be directed to the comments.
Why did I pick it up?
Continuation of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. I never stop reading a series once I start and I go until it's done, well, unless it's taking too long between books or there are 17+ books then I get annoyed and wait for it to finish. And yes, I am currently waiting on a 17+ book series to finish so I can buy everything at once then go from the beginning. I might name the author at some point.
Anyway, I started this one on January 29th and finished it on February 2nd, again reading on breaks at work and maybe an hour outside of work. This is how short these books are and I know if I really wanted to I could finish the series in a week. But meh. Onwards.
The Review of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban by JK Rowling:
I'm starting to think the same pattern is going to continue with every book and I'm not sure if I want to be annoyed or not yet. We left Harry heading home to his muggle foster parents who hate him and we pick up with him having another crappy summer. To be honest I can't remember what happened to Harry this summer...wait, he ballooned his equally horrible aunt and spent the summer in the Leaky Cauldron. Right.
He did actually make it on the train though and ended up sharing the compartment with Remus Lupine who is the new Dark Arts teacher.
This is another thing that's starting to make me roll my eyes. Every year they get a new Defense of the Dark Arts teacher. I get the firing of the first one. He was working with Voldemort. I get the firing of the second one. He was a weak plot device and an idiot. I was kind of hoping Lupine stuck around because he was a good teacher but no. Turns out he's a werewolf and the parents are afraid of him freaking out so he elects to leave. Never mind the fact he can be controlled with a potion. It's just tradition for the teacher to leave and for Harry to get a new one.
And oops, revealed the werewolf thing a little early. But really, with a name like Lupine and drinking something Snape cooks up for him once a month, you kind of suspect something's up.
We also have the Sirius Black plot line and of course (like in other books) Black isn't who everyone says he is. Oh, neither is Ron's rat Scabbers. I do appreciate the Scabbers and Black story line. Those were well done.
Harry completely disregards the rules multiple times despite them being put in place especially for him since everyone things Black is out to kill him. I get the whole "I do what I want cuz I'm the main character and I'm special thing" but this is ridiculous. And I'm fairly sure all the Weasley Twins are is a plot device to help Harry get out of Hogwarts. Neville's a plot device to have tightened security with the whole password thing. Wood is a plot device, 2D character to talk about Quiddich and you KNOW because Wood says it's his final year on the team they're going to win the cup. This is how things work.
And yes, make the book-worm take on more than she can chew and have her freak out. It's believable but the fact Hermione uses a Time Turner to illegally take more classes is a bit, eh. She slaps Malfoy too which is so out of character even Ron didn't know what to do with it. She is 13 by this time so...
Again Harry breaks a bunch of rules and is virtually unpunished. This time Ron breaks a leg, literally, so many in the next book Harry with think before dawning his invisibly cloak to go recklessly solving some new mystery, yes? I doubt it.
I get he's a main character and he's supposed to be kind of reckless and his dad was the same way but really now, this is getting a little disbelieving. The fact the Headmaster of the school is letting Harry get away with all this stuff is a bit insulting. It's Dumbledore's job to teach his students to kind of you know, respect the rules and all that.
But hey, kids book so I can't complain too much. The bows were neatly tied but had a bit more mystery to them this time around. You can tell Rowling's becoming better at making a mystery and stringing you along with this book.
Oh, the Dementors were iffy. Basically they're these kind of mindless drones that feed of positive emotions regardless if a person is innocent or not. Kind of a crappy punisher-type person to send out and an equally worse security guard. I can say they'd have fun trying to beat up a few of my characters. When someone IS fear and nightmares, well...
Would I read Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban again?
Since it would only take four or so hours: sure, why not? It's entertaining and a light read when someone doesn't want to think.
The Negatives:
There's a formula to the plot and I can all ready predict the next book: Harry has a summer with his horrible Muggle foster parents but gets saved by Ron, Harry goes to school and discovers a new mystery to solve (presumably there's a Goblet of Fire), Ron and Hermione get into an argument of some sort, Neville acts as a plot device, Snape and Draco do mean things to Harry, Harry breaks a bunch of rules to narrowly save the day with Dumbledore's uncanny help and everything ends neatly wrapped. Oh, and a new Defense of the Dark Arts Teacher. And Quiddich. TO THE AMAZON REVIEWS!
These are seriously becoming my favorite part of doing the Harry Potter reviews because they're so freaking hilarious.
...and now my fun-time is ruined by Amazon who has for some strange reason put reviews for Deathly Hallows into book 3. HUH? The first two for Azkaban are the same Pottermore complaints. You'd think someone would have picked up on the Pottermore issue by now...
OH! There's a "this book is evil and teaches our kids to practice horrible magic!" fanatic Christian review. One goes as far to say this book will affect a child's spiritual health. Hey, Christian Parents: IT IS FICTION! IT IS DESIGNED TO GET YOUR CHILDREN TO BE CREATIVE! Also: The Hell book are you going to find out there that doesn't include magic or "violence" or evil? When you do find one, lemme know.
I do like the review from the young girl who says she thought the book was the best ever back in grade 1 but because she's gone on to read other things, she's realized it's not. Harry Potter was her stepping stone into the world of fantasy fiction and I give kudos to JK Rowling for making it happen.
Then someone compares Harry's scar to being a Satanic "S" for "destroyer" and representing Zeus. *giggles* Also, reading tea-leaves is demonic, don't you know? Oh, there's the "this is to(o) long!" complaints.
And AGAIN someone telling people to go read GRR Martin. PEOPLE. HARRY POTTER IS FOR UNDER 10 YEAR OLDS. UNDER 10 YEAR OLDS SHOULD NOT BE READING GRR MARTIN BECAUSE HE "DOES FANTASY BETTER". Christ. And while we're at it: Tolkien and CS Lewis are meant for older audiences as well.
There are a few "the plot is recycled" reviews which are entirely true. But a newer reader won't notice. Again: these books are MADE for the newer readers.
Final Review: 2/5 for the voracious reader. 4/5 for the children it's meant for.
Until next time: thoughts, comments, rage, rants, questions, and out-right insults can be directed to the comments.
You know how I said a while ago (and probably multiple times since then) I draw inspiration from the world around me? Yeah? Cool. *gives cookie*
Story time! I'm on Twitter in the #amwriting tag when I stumbled upon a blog post. I love reading blogs about writing because they give a lot of info and hey, I'm a writer so they're pertinent.
Can I remember where I found the blog post or who wrote it? Nope. I'm not good with names or remembering important dates. The only dates I know are the birthdays of my two best friends, Halloween, Christmas, Valentine's Day, and my cat's birthday (old and new cat). That's it. I vaguely recall various cousins' and aunts' birthdays but I didn't have a lot of contact with them for a few years so...ANYWAY.
I remember the content of this blog post because it made me feel bad. In case you didn't know, notice, or realize: I've started up a Book Review section for this blog. The review section happened for two reasons: 1) I have a library of over 1,500 books, most of which I've read or am planning to re-read because they're fun and I love them. 2) I've become a voracious reader again since I have regulated breaks at work (again) and need something to do during those breaks.
The blog post in question was about writers who review books and why it's not a good idea to review a fellow writer's books. Something along the lines of "you shouldn't do both because it's bad for your writing" was said. All the commenters agreed with it and I considered taking down the review portion of this blog.
Then I thought: wait a second. The writer of this blog also said something along the lines of "remember, reading can take up to 12 hours a week of your time which could be spent writing. If you're reviewing what you're reading you're also taking time out to write the review."
I started giggling and decided to keep the review section. Why did I giggle? First off, in order to be worth anything as a writer you have to read. I'm not talking about flipping through a magazine, reading your own work, or reading the subtitles of anime (GUILTY). I'm talking about sitting down with another author's work and ploughing through it for those 12 (or more) hours a week. I'm talking about picking up books in genres you might not even like and reading them as a kind of guilty pleasure. I'm talking about reading at least a book a month, if not more.
Why?
The more you read, the better your writing will become. It's like learning through osmosis. You innately pick up on what works and what doesn't. You figure out how to form appealing sentences and learn how to set up scenes. You discover how to create engaging dialogue and you know what words you shouldn't be using. You learn HOW TO WRITE if you read.
Secondly, in order to be a writer you have to write. I'm not talking about sitting down in front of your computer and pumping out story after story (sheepishly raises hand). I'm talking about writing a journal, writing a blog, or writing a review. See, when you're reading then reviewing what you're reading you're doing two things: you're learning how to write and you're writing something. Double bonus.
The blog in question also said something to the effect of: "if you give someone a negative review then they won't give you a positive review and you'll look bad as an author who reviews other people's reviews negatively." Mmm, yeah, I can understand that. I've given out some lukewarm reviews all ready.
I explained why I gave those reviews though. I didn't connect with the main, I thought the main was stupid, I though the plot had too many holes (then pointed them out), or I thought the novel had too much going on. I also gave a glowing review to a book a lot of people didn't like.
I didn't write a direct message to the author. I didn't post the review on the amazon.com or goodreads.com page for the author. I posted it in my review section on a blog that doesn't get a lot of hits. The chances of the author seeing said review is pretty much nill BUT even if the chances weren't nill I'd still write the same review, and yes, have it public.
Why?
Because an author can improve if they get a review with constructive criticism. Feel free to give me constructive criticism. I've got some old (and free) novellas out there so pick one up and have at it. I will warn you: I know what's wrong with them and they will be re-worked and re-published. I got too excited about the whole self-publishing idea and went a little crazy, thus releasing a few stories too soon. I'll admit it: I done goofed.
You know why else it's okay to write reviews? Other authors do it and you will be asked what you think of the new biggest sensation if you become a well-known author. For example:
"I read Twilight and didn't feel any urge to go on with her. I read The Hunger Games and didn't feel an urge to go on. It's not unlike [my novel] The Running Man, which is about a game where people are actually killed and people are watching: a satire on reality TV. I read Fifty Shades of Grey and felt no urge to go on. They call it mommy porn, but it's not really mommy porn. It is highly charged, sexually driven fiction for women who are, say, between 18 and 25." - Stephen King
Then there is Anne Rice on Stephanie Meyer. We have GRR Martin on Tolkien. And we all know about the Stephen King and James Patterson thing. If not, Google is your friend. *winks*
Even if you don't want to be one of those authors who reviews another author's work you will have to eventually. You can't remain silent on someone in the world of writing, especially if you want to be as popular as any of the above mentioned. You will be asked what you think of other popular writers and you better make danged sure you don't come across as vapid by saying simply "Oh they're great!" or "oh they suck!"
Every writer/author will get the question "Who (what authors) inspires you?" and you are going to have to answer. You won't have to give a review right then of their most recent release but you may be asked "Why do they inspire you?" and again you better be able to vocalize the good and bad of that author.
So I say: read and review. Make it public. Let people know what you think and what you expect from a novel. You'll have to do it eventually and you may as well get used to it. Besides, we're writers. We're supposed to have tough skin and a writer has to learn to handle a 1 to 3-star constructive review from a fellow author. Why? Because every author will receive 1 to 3-star reviews from readers that might not be so constructive.
We shouldn't fear or hold back from reviewing fellow authors because of the need to "be nice." Do you think editors hold back because they have to be nice? Do you think non-writer readers are going to hold back because they have to be nice?
BUT, we should be constructive. Don't say someone sucks because you don't like them. Write the review with the reader in mind, in fact: write the review as if you're not a writer. Be the reader. Try to point out some positives and if you absolutely despised the book and can't think of one positive: don't do the review.
Contradictory, I know, but it's better not to say a horrible word than to put your foot in your mouth and have the author you're reviewing say as many horrible things about your work because you started it. Remember, these are YOUR FELLOWS. As a friend of mine on Twitter says: "Be honest but don't be a dick. Recall and consider this is your network, too." Also remember that you and your fellows are not going to improve if all you get are glowing 5-star reviews.
We definitely shouldn't stop reviewing (or reading) fellow authors because it cuts into our writing time. Again, to be a good writer you have to read. You have to write. The more you do of both the more of a chance you get to become better.
So to the fellow blogger who said writing reviews is a bad idea: I respectfully disagree. I also understand you have your reasons for thinking the way you do and hey, you're entitled to believe as you do. I'm not trying to change anyone's mind but I am giving my opinion on the concept. We'd be nothing without personal opinions.
Until next time: thoughts, comments, rages, rants, questions, and out-right insults can be directed to the comments section.
Author note: I found the blog I mentioned thanks to Jane Hunt, fellow writer who believes reviewing is fine for authors. The original blog was by Kristen Lamb. Yes, I could have changed the above to reflect both but I decided not to mainly because I believe it would have taken away from the post itself...and it's my birthday so there. :P
