Review: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Why did I pick it up?
Final book to finish off the Harry Potter series. I finished it on March 12 which means I took a little less than two months from start to finish.
Funny story: right after I finished reading it and moved onto the trilogy I'm reading now I saw someone at work had started reading this one. Same cover and everything. It was fun.

The Review of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by JK Rowling:
Know how I've been complaining about the same pattern for the last six books? Well it's broken! Sort of. We do start out with a  scene of Voldemort torturing some poor soul who we later find out is Hogwart's Muggle Studies teacher.

Harry spends some time cleaning out his room at the Dursley's house and examining the paper which has Dumbledore's eulogy and an article with an interview with Rita Skeeter about her new book that apparently reveals the truth about Dumbledore. Harry's obviously upset over the paper but begins to pack his bags to leave.

The Dursleys are leaving too as the moment Harry turns 17 the protection on the house will be gone and the Dursleys could be in trouble. It was nice to see Dudley giving Harry a nice good bye. I was disappointed nothing further was taken with the Dursleys here. They could have been mentioned in the end but this is the last we see or even hear of them.

Harry is to be brought to the Burrow for safe keeping and a group of witches and wizards will be pairing off to make fake Harry's and hopefully distract from the real one. This is where the deaths begin. Harry and the group leave but are attacked because Snape knows when Harry's supposed to leave and obviously told Voldemort. Hedwig is killed in the ensuing battle but Harry does manage to escape after meeting Tonk's parents. He gets to the Burrow to find out Mad Eye Moody was also killed and George Weasley lost an ear.

The Minister of Magic comes to deliver the gifts Harry, Ron, and Hermione received from Dumbledore: the first Snich Harry caught, the Deluminator, and a book of fairy tails in that order. Harry was also supposed to get the Sword of Gryffindor but the Minister wouldn't hand it over. Yes all of these are important. ;)

The preparations for Bill and Fleur's wedding take place as normal and Harry is disguised. He does run into Krum who is peeved at Luna's father for wearing some kind of evil symbol. The wedding is broken up by the Death Eaters who have taken over the ministry. Harry, Hermione, and Ron escape to Sirus' old place (which he inherited) and camp out there for a while. Thanks to Hermione's quick thinking (and a convenience plot hole) she managed to bring all their things with them in a bottomless purse.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione live in the musty old house until figuring out Kreacher helped Regulus (Sirus' brother) destroy the original locket/Horcrux Dumbledore had died for. Harry starts being nice to Kreacher and Kreacher is kind in return. He brings them the dude who stole the locket and they realize they need Gryffindor's sword to break it. The trio leave the house but are caught on the way back and have to begin backpacking through England as they can no longer stay in one spot.

On their travels Ron ends up leaving the group because he had hoped Harry had a better plan in looking for the Horcruxes. Hermione and Harry continue on their travels and Harry's wand ends up breaking when the duo fall into a trap. Harry is lead to a pool where Gryffindor's sword is by a patroneous doe (important point) and almost dies but Ron saves him. They figure out what the Deathly Hallows are: the Elder Wand, Harry's invisibility cloak, and the resurrection stone. Harry knows Voldermort is going after the Elder Wand so he can beat Harry once and for all.

They end up getting captured by Death Eaters but Hermione disguises Harry and Dobby comes to save the group. Harry and Ron go to save Hermione who was separated from them (fun plot point so you can see for yourself) and in their escape they manage to steal two wands. Dobby is killed on their way out.
More happens here but Voldermort does end up possessing the Elder Wand. We also see Snape was the one who sent the doe patroneous to lead Harry to the sword. And Snape gives Harry the memories of what transpired in all of Snape's life after Voldemort gets his snake to kill Snape. Harry finds out the truth about everything. Oh, did I mentioned they've made it all the way to Hogwarts now and the school is where the final battle takes place?

It makes sense in a way. Everything began there and what better battle ground. Voldemort's death was anti-climatic. His killing curse bounced back on him and that was that. There is a bit of a death count: Lupin, Tonks (who were married and just had a kid), and Fred. Neville saved part of the day by beheading Voldemort's snake with Gryffindor's sword so that was pretty cool.

Then we hit the epilogue. We find out Ron and Hermione are married with kids, Harry and Ginny are married with three kids, and Hell, even Draco got married. Despite everything, the Malfoys are still a-okay to be out and about. Now, I do see why they weren't killed before (plot devices anyone?) but still. This family has shown a willingness to go to the dark side and they're walking around like nothing happened. Like they didn't help kill so many people and side with the bad guy. It's annoying. I mean, they didn't even get a slap on the wrist.

Again, no mention of the Dursleys. No mention on how George is doing without Fred or if he continued the joke shop. No mention of Hagrid, who the headmaster is for Hogwarts, nothing. After all the focus on the school over 7 books all we know is Neville is a teacher there. Also: Harry's worked up to be this decent wizard, said he was going to be a Auror (job's kind of mote without Death eaters anyway) and has a talent for Quiddich but do we know what he does for work? Nope. We don't know anything about the three except they got married and are sending their kids off to Hogwarts.

Even just one more paragraph would have answered all those questions. Yeah, great to know "all was well" but how well? Did George ever get married? How are the rest of the Weasleys? What about Luna and the other Gryffindors? The Dursleys? Kreacher and the House Elves?

The Negatives:

Besides those mentioned above, for a book pegged at young adults there is a lot of death in here. I find this holds true for Hunger Games and a few other popular series for young adults. I mean, I get the world can't be all peachy but Harry Potter is originally pegged for kids under 10. Yeah, they would've grown up by the seventh book but still.

Also: the neat little bow wasn't so neat. There are still points left uncovered after the epilogue which I guess is okay. Do we need to know who runs the school or what the trio is doing? I guess not but after seven books I would've liked to know something besides marriage and children. Hell, we don't even know what happens to Hagrid and his giant half-brother.

Were all the deaths needed? Not really. Hedwig, Mad Eye, Dobby, and Snape: yes. Fred, Lupin, and Tonks? Nope. Yeah people die in war but did we really need to make another orphaned kid right after Lupin finally becomes happy? Did we really need to rip apart the twins like that to show the horrors of this war? Not really. We knew the horrors. We saw the bodies in the Great Hall. We saw Lavender and Colin. Crabbe (though technically a bad guy) a bunch of death eaters, goblins, and the 50 dead Hogwarts students were all enough.

The other thing that bugs me is the way Harry treats the Deathly Hallows. He leaves the resurrection stone somewhere in the forest where anyone with enough balls can find it. He reburies the Elder Wand with no protection and he likely still has the cloak but we're never told. These are objects of immense power and he leaves them lying around. COME ON. Who's to say someone's NOT going to go grab the Elder Wand, come kill you with it, then take over the world?

That sucker should have been broken. The rock should've been tossed in the middle of the freaking ocean. And the cloak? Yeah, that's not as dangerous unless someone with the wrong ideas grabs it. I mean really. Most powerful objects in the world and just left around like nothing.

The book itself was quite dark and comparing this last one to the first one is like moon and sun. You'd never think book 1 could have developed into this theme-wise. I mean yeah, Voldemort would have eventually had to die and Harry would have had to suffer loss but not to this proportion, not in a book for kids.

Final Review: 3/5 for adults, 2/5 for the intended audience.

Until next time thoughts, comments, rages, rants, questions, and out-right insults can be directed to the comments section.

Review: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Why did I pick it up?

Again, continuation of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. I'm still loving the last few books more than the first few. It's like Rowling's writing matures as her characters mature and it's cool.

So, I started this one on Feb 15 and finished it sometime in the beginning of March. I kind of forgot to write the blog post once I finished it and yeah. New time slot at work, yadda, yadda, bleh. Anyway, the book itself is 607 pages, at least my copy is so, around the same page count the last few have been.

The Review of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince by JK Rowling:

The first chapter with the Prime Minister meeting the new Minister of Magic...eh. I think it could have been dropped. Sure it was kind of cool to know the Minister of Magic talks to Prime Minister and what not but as a chapter itself? Not worth 24 pages. Next up came Snape, Bellatrix, and her sister who's Malfoy's mom making a pack. This was cool. We get to speculate why Snape needs to take over for Draco in the task Voldemort's set him up for.

After 42 pages we get to see Harry cleaning his room and leave Privet Drive. Dumbledore comes to pick up Harry and they head off to see the potential new Defense of the Dark Arts teacher.

What's cool in this novel is Harry learning about the Horcruxes and how Voldemort managed to survive the backlash of the killing curse which should have killed Harry. I also like how Slughorn is weaved around the backstory of Voldemort and the Horcruxes and how Harry is slowly learning about Voldemort's life.

What I didn't like? Dumbledore not telling Harry what he's doing or why. Dumbledore knows the liquid in the basin is horrible but drinks it anyway. Then well, Dumbledore dies. All he tells Harry is that Harry must destroy the other Horcruxes so Voldemort can be killed once and for all. Doesn't tell Harry how to get to them. Doesn't tell them what they are but does speculate with him what they could be. Doesn't even give Harry any indication of what's to come in the next book information wise (I'm writing this blog post after reading the 7th book...ooops) and just...doesn't do a lot of things.

Now, there is the whole rumour around that was confirmed about Dumbledore being gay. I didn't see it. Like, AT ALL. Did I need a sparkly banner hanging over him announcing he's a gay character? Nope. All I needed is somewhere in all these conversations Harry and Dumbledore have is for Harry to have asked something like: "Why has there never been a Miss Dumbledore?" And for Dumbledore to say he wasn't interested in women.

Hell, I would've liked Harry to ask about Dumbledore's past in general. I mean, yeah, great, have him regret asking about Dumbledore's past after Dumbledore is dead but in general when you start to get close to someone you tend to ask where they came from.

I mean yes, Harry's got a lot on his plate but you would think he'd have thought to ask Dumbledore something about his past. I mean Dumbledore's obviously lived a long rich life full of secrets. Why wouldn't you?

Dumbledore's death scene and funeral were perfect. The emotion, the shock, and Harry's announcement not to go back to Hogwarts: excellent in their execution. There are a lot of little bits left unanswered for Book 7 and I love how everything gets tied up in the final book. But, more on Deathly Hallows in the next post.

What's kind of fun is the potions book Harry's "cheating" from turns out to be Snape's. The panic when Harry uses the made-up spell and almost kills Malfoy: awesome. Also, I totally get where the "wand fight in the bathroom" memes come from now. Bonus. :P

Also: life went on for the students of Hogwarts. The sixth years learn to Apparate, there's some romance, heart-break the Muggles begin realizing something bad may be happening in the world.

And, do we all remember the piece of mirror Harry kept from his god-father's gift breaking? No? Well, remember it. He keeps it. And yes, it does come up in the last book.

Oh and I love Fleur's line: "I am pretty enough for both of us!" Taken out of context it doesn't sound like much but it says a lot about her character and who she is as a person.

The Negatives:

Again, lots going on. This isn't horrible in the slightest as I do enjoy a book with complex happenings. What happened in prior books starts to make sense the further on you go in the series which is especially true between books 6 and 7. You CANNOT skip book 6 in anyway or you'd be totally lost in 7.

The formula has been done to death and the threat of Hogwarts closing is an empty and unneeded one. We know it won't close. Why? Well where the Hell else is Harry going to have his final battle with Voldemort? It won't be in the middle of some random street or in a place with lots of people. It's going to be a place where the two orphans (Harry and Voldemort) found home for the first time.

Some agreements I have with the 1-star reviewers: The word "snog" really throws me for a loop. I realized the book was written in England but...snog. It sounds gross, not this loving thing you do with your SO of choice. Also, when the Hell did Harry ever decide he liked Ginny? Where's Voldemort? What happened to Dumbledore's hand and why won't he explain?

What I would have agreed with if I didn't know most of the plot: Dumbledore pleading for death from Snape. As stated: I've all ready read Book 7 and even before I kind of knew why Snape did what he did so Dumbledore wasn't pleading when I read his death scene. He was telling Snape to do as Dumbledore had requested.

There is A LOT of information packed into this book. It's dark. There's death. Bill gets mauled by a child-eating werewolf (you read that right) but there is a lot of emphasise on love in this sucker.

It's basically a huge set up for Book 7. Could it have been done in less pages? Yep. Did there have to be so much focus on love? Eh, probably not. Was Dumbledore's death needed? Yep. Why? You have to knock out the ONE PERSON who everyone relies on in time of war to create better conflict. It's just how it works.

Again I do have to note: I would have a lot more negatives here and be in agreement with everything the 1-star reviewers are saying if I didn't all ready know some plot points going into the series and hadn't read book 7 before this review.

Final Review: 2/5 for children and heavy readers. The children wouldn't be enjoying the much darker world of Harry Potter and the adults might be suffering from "omg-mushy-immature" romance issues.

Until next time: thoughts, comments, rages, rants, questions, and out-right insults can be directed to the comments section.

Review: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Why did I pick it up?

Continuation of Harry Potter and the TwiWizard Tournament, pardon, Goblet of Fire. There are two books left in the series and I'm disappointed. I'm starting to like Harry Potter as a whole. Yes, a whole. I could do without books 1-3 but 4 and 5? These are where JK Rowling starts to shine.

I started Order of the Phoenix on February 9th and finished on Feb 14th, so five days. I had more time to read it during work breaks, waiting for the e-test on my car, and what not. The book itself is 766 pages which is up 100 from Goblet of Fire. Yes, massive so don't let my five day read time fool you.

Actually funny story. So, I'm reading Order at work and one of the people in my training class asks: "Which one are you reading now?" So I show him the cover and he says "Wow, you're going through those quick." And being me I say: "It's only around 600 pages." Him: "Only 600 pages...*shocked look and leaves*" I need to come with signage proclaiming I'm a voracious reader once I get into it...

The Review of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix by JK Rowling:

Same formula and yes, new Defense of the Dark Arts teacher is introduced. Can't one person stick around longer than a year? I mean really.

Anyway, Harry has his bad summer but this time Ron and Hermione aren't telling him anything. When he's finally picked up it's after facing down Dementors in his muggle-foster family's world. He has to save his cousin then because he uses magic, faces expulsion from Hogwarts (which we know isn't going to happen), is then saved by Dumbledore's interference, almost thrown out of the muggle-house, is saved by a mysterious letter and his aunt (who hates him but has to keep the promise the person in the letter is shouting about), and is then taken to a secret place by a dozen wizards. The kid never have a dull summer, I'll give him that.

The threat of expulsion is weak simply because Harry's defending himself against Dementors but so much emphasis is put on Harry being nervous and it's a bit tedious. The secret place is the home base of the Order of the Phoenix who Sirius, Lupine, Mad-Eye, and many more are a part of and who's job is to protect the uninformed wizard community against Volty's return.

I knew something bad was going to happen when the Black (Sirius') house-elf appeared on the scene. The concept of the house elf (Brownie) is disturbing. They're slaves, plain and simple but are forced to like being slaves. They love serving their masters so much they find it insulting when Hermione knits hats and scarves to give them to set them free. The entire concept of freedom is an insult. That's just...wrong.

Back to the plot. So Harry has some horrible nightmares and it turns out he's seeing and feeling what Voldemort sees and feels because of the scar connection. There is a lot of anger in this book, mainly from Harry, and I have to admit about half way through I wanted to reach through and give the kid a chill pill. Of course that's around where we find out Voldemort's affecting Harry's emotions, so hey. Plus Harry's 15 so it makes sense his first emotion to something not going his way is righteous anger, pardon, teenage anger but this is over the top. Speaking of over the top...

Umbridge, the Dark Arts teacher has been Ministry Appointed for the sole purpose of taking over the school is...wow. She's who the bad guy is for this novel and my god is she a terror. She has a quill that when you write something with it, carves it into your hand which she makes Harry use. She bans Harry, Fred and George Weasley from Quiddich for life after they attacked Malfory. Yes, they did deserve punishment but not a lifetime ban. She tilts the favor to the Slytherin house and doesn't even bother teaching Dark Arts. This last point is what makes Ron and Hermione get Harry to start Dumbledore's Army, AKA: Defense of the Dark Arts. Why Dumbledore's Army? Because the Ministry of Magic wants Dumbledore sacked for saying Voldemort's come back.

There was a lot going on in this book and a major fight scene at the end. Another character dies but again Harry is kind of an idiot. Sirius gave him a gift and said "If you ever need to contact me, use this" but of course Harry doesn't open it because he doesn't want to tempt Sirius out of hiding. If Harry had opened it then he would have avoided half the issues in the book. The big one is being caught by Umbridge and being tricked by the house elf. Oh and the character dying. Yeah, that would've been completely avoided. ENTIRELY. The death itself wasn't even needed though.

But if it had been avoided then we wouldn't have found out Voldemort was after a prophecy dealing with him and Harry which basically reveals Harry's birth, that Voldermort would mark Harry as an equal and the only person who could defeat Voldermort for good was Harry. One of them must die...but we kind of knew that. I do find it cool Neville also could have fit the prophecy. Not cool that the mains found out what happened to his parents the way they did.

Luna Lovegood is introduced and let me say: YES. I love the quirky characters and she fits the bill. She's also competent magic wise and ends up being a huge help in the novel. I adore Fred and George as characters too and in here they became a bit more than comic relief. They provided Harry with a means to contact Sirius (even though he had a safer way and was an idiot about using it, re: the gift) as well as gave Umbridge a helluva run for her money. I also love their exit. If you're going to leave school: turn a hallway into a swamp and cause absolute chaos. *claps*

The Threshal's were an interesting concept...and of course they can fly at supersonic speeds to transport the gang to the Ministry when they needed it. Everything happens for a reason and sometimes it's a bit too convenient. But I'm sure every writers has done sometime similar at least once.

A few plot holes: Krum's just not mentioned after the whole TriWizard thing besides Hermione writing to him. And what about Harry's Firebolt? And why the Hell is Malfoy still allowed at school when he's the son of a Death Eater who's now in jail? And yes, another Dark Arts teacher bites the dust. Just give it to Snape all ready...speaking of: total drop of the ball here. He's such an interesting character and...nothing.

One thing I really liked? Harry realized how stupid he was in going after the character who died and not paying attention to Snape's extra lessons. Too bad it took someone close to him dying and his two BFFs being injured horribly.

Would I read Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix again?

Yes. There was a bunch going on which makes for an interesting book. I'm probably missing a bunch plot devices, holes, or whatever and now I understand why people re-read the books so often.

The Negatives:

Good God the formula! I understand Harry has to go back to his aunt's to keep the spell going, yadda, yadda, but can we have a summary page then just move on? And can we keep a Dark Arts teacher for longer than a year? There are all ready a lot of characters in the book, why add more?

It irks me beyond belief the people helping Voldemort were simply imprisoned or let off. You would think with all the spells and potions wizards could tell who's lying and be able to do the bad apples in. It's common sense NOT to keep the enemy alive and well and to finish off all his supporters when he's gone. But, kid's book so...

So far all the reviews are saying this is the weakest book. I can agree there was A LOT going on (probably too much) and the death occurred (though great on Rowling killing a Darling) didn't do anything but to further throw Harry into misery. And yes, he did go from a fairly optimistic boy to an angst-filled teen in the course of two weeks or less. He did start to perk back up in the end.

I also agree the book was released too soon and could have done with another round of editing. And seriously, was the point of Sirius' gift to Harry just to stab Harry with a knife again? That was cruel.

Final Review: 3.5/5 for both voracious readers and kids. The fight scene was good, confusing but good, and the books are becoming darker which is generally a no-no for the kid's in the age bracket this book is for.

Until next time: thoughts, comments, rages, rants, questions, and out-right insults can be directed to the comments section.

Review: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

Why did I pick it up?

Continuation of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Again, I don't stop reading a series unless it's gone past 17 books and it's still freaking going with no end in sight. Even then I wait till the remainder of the books come up then finish it. Said 17+ book series I'm waiting on is currently up to 18 planned books with nine short stories in nine different anthologies so no, I am not impressed. There are also THREE other 10+ book series said author is working on, yes, all at once. I kind of wish I never picked up that first book...

ANYWAY. We're talking a nice 7-book series known as Harry Potter. I started this one on February 3rd and finished it on February 8th. Yes it almost took me a week. You'll see why shortly.

The Review of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by JK Rowling:

First I have to say: YES! THIS is the book where JK Rowling has evolved as an author. The general pattern is still the same: we see Harry with his foster muggle parents, Harry goes to see Ron, they see something mysterious (wrong place at wrong time syndrome) and Harry has a new challenge to face at school, new Defense of the Dark Arts teacher met, challenge resolved with Harry doing something amazing while breaking some rules, and Harry heading home to his muggle foster parents.

BUT, the mystery aspect in this one is MUCH MORE DEFINED. There are a lot more suspects for why this is happening to Harry and I was surprised when it was revealed. I expected one of two but not the person it actually was then it wasn't actually that person but someone pretending to be that person. It was great.

Also, JK Rowling KILLED HER DARLINGS! She introduced one in the last book then just, BAM, killed him in front of Harry. Was the death needed? Heck yes. Did the death impact Harry? HECK yes. Did the dying character suffer? No, it wasn't long drawn out torture, just the killing curse and done but still. This was a great death and relevant to the story and the books. She also killed someone right in the beginning too: got us to know him and kind of care then knocked him down. Good job.

The way Voldemort comes back and the way everything was planned out by him and his minions was amazing. It was well planned, wonderfully executed, and that ending. This is the writing I've been waiting for as an adult reading younger fiction.

There are still some tweaks needed here and there because it's not entirely believable the Head of the Ministry of Magic won't take a threat like Voldemort seriously. Honestly, I think Fudge not believing Dumbledore and Snape was a bit much.

I do like that Dumbledore doesn't hide anything from the Hogwarts students and tells them flat out Voldemort is back, Harry saw it with his own eyes, and yes, Volty (hehe) killed the character.

I don't believe that Harry can't figure out where Hagrid and the Madame are going. They're half giants Harry, and Voldemort wants the giants on his side (as you heard), where the Hell do you think they're going?

I do like how Harry does suspect Snape might be working as a double agent now. The whole battle scene with Voldemort was kind of, I don't know. If my villain was so horrible and evil then he would've killed Harry outright. Screw talking: he wouldn't even have untied him from the gravestone to give him a fighting chance. It would've been Avada Kedavra and done. I guess Volty learned that lesson the hard way when Harry escaped.

The Goblet of Fire is mentioned one or twice and has a five page or so scene. So it's a catalyst, yes, but I think something else should have been used, like Harry Potter and the Triwizard Tournament. Why? Because the games was the focus of the book. The cup was more of a piece of equipment that could have easily been replaced by anything. I guess Goblet of Fire sounds cooler though.

I also LOVE how we get some backstory on Neville and Harry shows compassion towards the poor kid. We also realize why Neville knows the Cruciastus Curse (crucio) and why he's being raised by his grandmother. I was tearing up at this reveal and I'm so glad Harry went along with Dumbledore's request and didn't tell Hermione and Ron about Neville's parents and that Harry felt that Neville should be the one getting some sympathy from the other students about his parents. As Harry said "Sure, he (Harry) was an orphan but Neville had living parents who could no longer recognize him."

The ending with Harry coming back, the big reveal of who was going all this, and Harry on the train was perfect. I love that Harry, realizing he's a privileged wizard who has money to spare, gives his prize money to Fred and George. It shows who he is as a person. I also love how he wants to save all the hostages in the second task and he's willing to share the prize with Cedric, hell he tells Cedric what the first task is because he doesn't want Cedric to be hurt. This is good character development right here.

Harry doesn't break the rules so much, not to the extent of the other books anyway. Everyone else is breaking the same rules so it's not as horrible when Harry does it which is nice to see. But, one such rule being broken isn't even mentioned: Krum (Quiddich player and competitor against Harry in the Triwizard Tournament) using crucio (illegal to use against other wizards) on Cedric. Harry just kind of forgets to mention it.

With how the last feast goes, I suspect there won't be another new Defense of the Dark Arts Teacher in Hogwarts next year which is nice. It's good to break pattern.

Would I read Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire again?

Yes, most definitely and I might even do it without reading the books before it.

The Negatives:

The formula, oh God, change it up! Maybe start off when Harry's at the school or something. The time it took for Harry to get from summer to school seemed to be so much longer too but every part was needed or nothing would make sense later. The thing that really bothers me about the whole series is all these former Death Eaters were either imprisoned or given a second chance.

Never mind they conspired with the most evil wizard in history and killed innocent people, we'll totally give 'em a second chance if they give us names. Yeah, no. I honestly don't believe people would do that and I sure as Hell don't believe in second chances when it comes to that. Sure, if show you can be reformed, great. But everyone suspected Malfoy's dad would go back to Voldemort and guess what? He did. Worse yet, they're still letting his kid go to Hogwarts where Harry Potter, you know the person Voldemort wants to kill, lives. Yeah, smart. Go going.

See, if the same events had taken place in any one of my magic-ruled worlds, every one of Voldemort's supporters would have been killed, including the Dementors. I mean, who's bright idea is it to let the Dementors (who would go help Voldemort if he asked) guard the place where Voldemort's henchmen are imprisoned? Where's the sense in that? Kill off the henchmen, especially when you don't see a body for Voldemort and know that even if he does come back, he won't have any support. If the Ministry had done that then maybe all Voldemort would have is Wormtail. And ya can't do much with that guy.

To the 1-star reviews:

Again, Pottermore website. The Hell, Rowling, the Hell? With so many complaints about downloading the book from the site or receiving the wrong copy of the book, being misled on the condition, etc, someone should've looked into this by now.

There are some people saying it's not for kids and well, to each there own. I read IT at 12 and am no worse for wear. I do find it funny that my one cousin let her kid read Harry Potter at 10 but not Hunger Games because there's a lot of killing in both series. Goblet of Fire is where the darkness starts seeping in and yes, it is for a mature audience.

A lot of the people don't seem to get Harry is 14 now. One says he's "suddenly interest in girls especially the fat French girl". Two things: 1) Harry is 14. Yes, he is "suddenly" interested in girl but was interested in Cho when he first met her in the last book. 2) the fat French girl is a watered down version of the Veela who are seductresses by nature in the book. Yeah "suddenly" *snorts*

I also find that I'm the complete opposite when it comes to the series. Everyone thinks 1-3 are totally awesome and 4 sucks where I think 1-3 are okay and four is one of the better ones.

The "TOO LONG" comments are entirely justified especially when the page count in the series goes from 350 to 634. Yeah, the fourth book is MASSIVE compared to the others but rightfully so. There's a lot going on and more mystery involved. Yes the front part was needed because now you know who Krum is and why everyone acts the way they do in the later stages of the book.

I could agree Rita and SPEW weren't really needed as plot elements though it DOES give us a nice insight to Hermione's character. She cares about other people and shows her brilliance by deducing how Rita is finding out all this stuff she shouldn't know.

The "pure evil" villain is a disappointment though. Yes, I get they're villains but their needs to be some sort of justification to their villainy just like Harry needs to have justification in lying, cheating, using illegal curses, etc. I like Harry's not a saint but it bothers me that Voldemort and his posse have NO redeeming characteristics. They're pure evil for the sake of being evil. It bugs me.

There are some spelling mistakes, wrong words, and quotes missing during dialogue which is bothersome. I'm no grammar guru so I can't point it all out but if I'm finding something then an editor reading this might find way more.

Final Review: 3.5/5 for the voracious readers. 3.5/5 for intended audience (darker concepts is the main reason here.)

Until next time: thoughts, comments, rage, rants, questions, and out-right insults can be directed to the comments.

Review: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Why did I pick it up?

Continuation of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. I never stop reading a series once I start and I go until it's done, well, unless it's taking too long between books or there are 17+ books then I get annoyed and wait for it to finish. And yes, I am currently waiting on a 17+ book series to finish so I can buy everything at once then go from the beginning. I might name the author at some point.

Anyway, I started this one on January 29th and finished it on February 2nd, again reading on breaks at work and maybe an hour outside of work. This is how short these books are and I know if I really wanted to I could finish the series in a week. But meh. Onwards.

The Review of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban by JK Rowling:

I'm starting to think the same pattern is going to continue with every book and I'm not sure if I want to be annoyed or not yet. We left Harry heading home to his muggle foster parents who hate him and we pick up with him having another crappy summer. To be honest I can't remember what happened to Harry this summer...wait, he ballooned his equally horrible aunt and spent the summer in the Leaky Cauldron. Right. 

He did actually make it on the train though and ended up sharing the compartment with Remus Lupine who is the new Dark Arts teacher.

This is another thing that's starting to make me roll my eyes. Every year they get a new Defense of the Dark Arts teacher. I get the firing of the first one. He was working with Voldemort. I get the firing of the second one. He was a weak plot device and an idiot. I was kind of hoping Lupine stuck around because he was a good teacher but no. Turns out he's a werewolf and the parents are afraid of him freaking out so he elects to leave. Never mind the fact he can be controlled with a potion. It's just tradition for the teacher to leave and for Harry to get a new one.

And oops, revealed the werewolf thing a little early. But really, with a name like Lupine and drinking something Snape cooks up for him once a month, you kind of suspect something's up.

We also have the Sirius Black plot line and of course (like in other books) Black isn't who everyone says he is. Oh, neither is Ron's rat Scabbers. I do appreciate the Scabbers and Black story line. Those were well done.

Harry completely disregards the rules multiple times despite them being put in place especially for him since everyone things Black is out to kill him. I get the whole "I do what I want cuz I'm the main character and I'm special thing" but this is ridiculous. And I'm fairly sure all the Weasley Twins are is a plot device to help Harry get out of Hogwarts. Neville's a plot device to have tightened security with the whole password thing. Wood is a plot device, 2D character to talk about Quiddich and you KNOW because Wood says it's his final year on the team they're going to win the cup. This is how things work.

And yes, make the book-worm take on more than she can chew and have her freak out. It's believable but the fact Hermione uses a Time Turner to illegally take more classes is a bit, eh. She slaps Malfoy too which is so out of character even Ron didn't know what to do with it. She is 13 by this time so...

Again Harry breaks a bunch of rules and is virtually unpunished. This time Ron breaks a leg, literally, so many in the next book Harry with think before dawning his invisibly cloak to go recklessly solving some new mystery, yes? I doubt it.

I get he's a main character and he's supposed to be kind of reckless and his dad was the same way but really now, this is getting a little disbelieving. The fact the Headmaster of the school is letting Harry get away with all this stuff is a bit insulting. It's Dumbledore's job to teach his students to kind of you know, respect the rules and all that.

But hey, kids book so I can't complain too much. The bows were neatly tied but had a bit more mystery to them this time around. You can tell Rowling's becoming better at making a mystery and stringing you along with this book.

Oh, the Dementors were iffy. Basically they're these kind of mindless drones that feed of positive emotions regardless if a person is innocent or not. Kind of a crappy punisher-type person to send out and an equally worse security guard. I can say they'd have fun trying to beat up a few of my characters. When someone IS fear and nightmares, well...

Would I read Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban again?

Since it would only take four or so hours: sure, why not? It's entertaining and a light read when someone doesn't want to think.

The Negatives:

There's a formula to the plot and I can all ready predict the next book: Harry has a summer with his horrible Muggle foster parents but gets saved by Ron, Harry goes to school and discovers a new mystery to solve (presumably there's a Goblet of Fire), Ron and Hermione get into an argument of some sort, Neville acts as a plot device, Snape and Draco do mean things to Harry, Harry breaks a bunch of rules to narrowly save the day with Dumbledore's uncanny help and everything ends neatly wrapped. Oh, and a new Defense of the Dark Arts Teacher. And Quiddich. TO THE AMAZON REVIEWS!

These are seriously becoming my favorite part of doing the Harry Potter reviews because they're so freaking hilarious.

...and now my fun-time is ruined by Amazon who has for some strange reason put reviews for Deathly Hallows into book 3. HUH? The first two for Azkaban are the same Pottermore complaints. You'd think someone would have picked up on the Pottermore issue by now...

OH! There's a "this book is evil and teaches our kids to practice horrible magic!" fanatic Christian review. One goes as far to say this book will affect a child's spiritual health. Hey, Christian Parents: IT IS FICTION! IT IS DESIGNED TO GET YOUR CHILDREN TO BE CREATIVE! Also: The Hell book are you going to find out there that doesn't include magic or "violence" or evil? When you do find one, lemme know.

I do like the review from the young girl who says she thought the book was the best ever back in grade 1 but because she's gone on to read other things, she's realized it's not. Harry Potter was her stepping stone into the world of fantasy fiction and I give kudos to JK Rowling for making it happen.

Then someone compares Harry's scar to being a Satanic "S" for "destroyer" and representing Zeus. *giggles* Also, reading tea-leaves is demonic, don't you know? Oh, there's the "this is to(o) long!" complaints.

And AGAIN someone telling people to go read GRR Martin. PEOPLE. HARRY POTTER IS FOR UNDER 10 YEAR OLDS. UNDER 10 YEAR OLDS SHOULD NOT BE READING GRR MARTIN BECAUSE HE "DOES FANTASY BETTER". Christ. And while we're at it: Tolkien and CS Lewis are meant for older audiences as well.

There are a few "the plot is recycled" reviews which are entirely true. But a newer reader won't notice. Again: these books are MADE for the newer readers.

Final Review: 2/5 for the voracious reader. 4/5 for the children it's meant for.

Until next time: thoughts, comments, rage, rants, questions, and out-right insults can be directed to the comments.

Review: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

Why did I pick it up?

Because it continues from Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone and I'll be damned if I ever start a series and don't finish it. I started this one on January 26th and finished it on January 28th using mainly breaks at the new job and an hour or so after work. It took about three or four hours all together.

The Review of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets by JK Rowling:

 Again, this is a continuation. When we left Harry in Philosopher's Stone he was heading back home for the summer with his foster muggle parents who hate him. We pick up while he's still there and we've found out the muggles are afraid of him and rightfully so. Harry now knows how to do magic, something they don't believe in and fear.

The fear does cause Dudley, Harry's biggest bully, to go a little easier on him since Dudley's afraid Harry will do something. A house elf (Dobby) appears to tell Harry not to go back to Hogwarts which of course Harry refuses to do. Dobby accidently reveals Harry's not allowed to do magic in the muggle world so the Dudley's lock him in a room, start starving him and his owl, and make life miserable again for him. Fortunately Ron and his twin brothers Fred and George break him out of his house with their father's illegal flying car and take him back home with them.

Ten points for saving Harry from being starved and treated miserably. Minus 100 a piece for stealing a car that's illegal in the first place. This is made especially worse since the Weasley's were about to go see what was wrong with Harry and not responding to Ron's letters the NEXT DAY.

Harry enjoys living with the Weasley's, goes to buy his second year gear and ends up in the wrong place at the right time. The common tread in this book is that Harry (and Ron or Hermione) always seem to end up in the wrong place at the right time. They stumble (literally) upon things they shouldn't know like with Harry seeing Draco's father selling off some important items. There's also the time they overhear of Dumbledore's forced sabbatical and Hagrid being taken away under suspicion of opening the Chamber of Secrets.

And when they go to spy on Draco thinking he's the one who opened the chamber they find out about Draco's dads secret stash of stuff as well as Ron's dad being under inquiry for the whole magic-ing a car thing. Yes, the car the twins flew to save Harry. The same car Harry and Ron use to get to Hogwarts because Dobby prevents Harry from getting through Gate 9 and 3/4s. That incident is what causes Ron's dad to be put under inquiry by the way.

The worst part is, they had an owl and could have easily sent along a message that they couldn't get through the gate instead of you know, stealing an illegal car and using magic in front of muggles thus leaving Ron's parents stranded at the train station with no knowledge of how to get home by muggle ways.

Then there's the whole part about Harry not telling Dumbledore all that's going on (the hissing sounds he's hearing, the suspicions he has about the events going on in Hogwarts, etc.) and just continuing on his merry way in keeping secrets from the person who could help him and would totally understand what's going on.

This is what's annoying me the most about these books. Harry's keeping secrets and breaking HUGE rules but keeps coming out unpunished and relatively unscathed. It's kind of sending a message to kids in "hey, you can lie or break rules so long as you're saving the world." Yes, but to a point. I get the "it's for the greater good "concept and super heroes do it all the time but the amount of times Harry is doing it starts to get a little suspicious.

And then the car saves them from being eaten by spiders, Harry figures out how all this connects, and kills a Basilisk with a sword that appeared out of the Sorting Hat Dumbledore sent to him with Dumbledore's pet phoenix. Really? I mean, yeah send the one bird that can heal Harry from a Basilisk and the one object that can give Harry a magical sword only Gryffindor's can hold...urg.

There's coincidence and then there's...arg. I'm starting to see why these books are meant for people under the age of 12. Don't get me wrong: I still ENJOYED reading the book overall but if I wasn't an over 20-year-old who hadn't read hundreds of fantasy and sci-fi books I would be enjoying it a lot more.

Anyway, Harry saves the day and as in the first book: heads back home with the Dursley's to a horrible summer. Except wait, didn't Tom Riddle show Harry that Harry could have stayed at Hogwarts over the summer? And don't you think the Weasley's would have invited Harry to stay? *headdesk*

OH! The Sorting Hat putting Harry in Gryffindor is mentioned again. This time Dumbledore gives an epic quote that feels kind of wasted considering again, all Harry did was say "Please not Slytherin" and the Sorting Hat was all "Oh, okay." I mean I get Harry convinced the hat because it's the hat's job to put people in the proper house. I just don't see Harry thinking "please not Slytherin" as a convincing argument. And what was up with Lockheart as a character? He was just a device to distract Harry and allow the group to get the book out of the library to make an illegal potion.

Oh and a whole bunch of Hermione being all rule-breaky which isn't a part of her character at all. It's the Harry Effect I guess...

Would I read Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets again?

Yeah probably. It's a nice, light read that's still entertaining when you're not thinking about the strings tying too neatly. I'm also waiting for someone to die with baited breath. KILL YOUR DARLINGS, ROWLING! KILL THEM ALL! *insert evil laughter* Sorry. I've obviously read too much Song of Ice and Fire.

The Negatives

Besides the aforementioned over-coincidence, lying, breaking rules, etc: not much. So again, to the 1-star reviews.

One person compared Harry Potter to Song of Ice and Fire. Why? Because "read Game of Thrones if you want a real series" Um. First: It's Song of Ice and Fire, not Game of Thrones. GoT is the TELEVISION SHOW. Second: COMPLETELY different intended audience. Like MILES different. So no, a 12 or under should not read SoIF if they want a real series. And the adults don't have to either if they don't want to. It's called personal preference and opinion and *le gasp* some adults out there aren't big readers so couldn't tackle something like SoIF if they buy the CDS to listen to Harry Potter.

Speaking of, apparently the audio books still suck, Pottermore is still crap, and the books are being delivered in horrible condition. I bought my Harry Potter series used so I expect them looking worn. When you're buying new: you expect new. I don't see why this issue hasn't been resolved.

As many reviewers point out: Good guys can lie, break rules, etc and not get punished but when a bad guy lies, breaks rules, etc then he is punished. So hey, as long as the ends justify the means it's all good. Not a good lesson for kids. Rules are rules and anyone who breaks them should be punished in some sense of the word.

The "WITCHCRAFT IS EVIL!" 1-stars were amusing as all Hell. I don't see how it puts down family values since the Weasley Family is all about being a family: standing up for each other, caring about each other, teasing your older/younger siblings, looking after each other, etc. This is one thing Rowling does exceptionally well: the Weasley Family.

Then there's the people saying it's too long. Again, it's a little over 300 pages which is average when it comes to pre-teen fantasy. Yes, I am aware of how wrong that might sound. Mind out of the gutters folks. Anyway, for the reviewer who told people to go read SoIF for a real series: these poor people thinking Harry Potter is long would die.

There are a lot of comparisons to Lord of the Rings and C.S Lewis. I say again: DIFFERENT AUDIENCES. Jeez. Then there's the people who say they don't read fantasy so don't like the book. *headdesk* There are a lot of "recycled the plot from book 1" which is true but again: book meant for people under 10 who are just starting to get heavy into reading so they don't notice these things. I think the adults (including me) reading this series and who have read a lot over the years have to remember this is a book for children, not well-read, avid reading adults.

Final review: 2/5 for a voracious adult, 4.5/5 for a child. Best features: THIS QUOTE "It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities" from Dumbledore and the interactions of the Weasley family with each other.

Until next time: thoughts, comments, rages, rants, questions, and out-right insults can be directed to the comments section.

Review: Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone

Why did I pick it up?

Everyone else in the world has read it and there isn't a website you can go to that won't eventually contain some mention of Harry Potter. Go to iwastesomuchtime.com and you'll find Potter-heads talking about the books and thanking Rowling. Go to fmylife.com and you'll find people complaining about their lovers dragging them to movie premiers or conventions. The cheezburger conglomerate of websites has one fully dedicated to Harry Potter and it's mentioned in RageComics, WebComics and various others. Hell, there's a site associated with "Taste of Awesome" that has "Taste of Harry Potter" with memes and other stuff.

I ignored the entire explosion for as long as humanly possible. I didn't even buy the books until last year and even so they were from a used bookstore. For some reason it took a while to find the second book. I would have read it sooner but I was in the middle of ploughing through the Song of Ice and Fire series then became series-overloaded and read a bunch of stand-alones.

I finally cracked open the spine of Philosopher's Stone because I didn't want to continue in what I thought was a stand-alone but turned out to be book 1 of 7. Anyway, I started it on National Reading Day (Jan 24) while waiting to meet up with a friend and finished it Sunday Jan 25 in the morning.

Before we continue let it be known I am forming these opinions from (sort of) two points of view: 1) An avid reader who's lost count somewhere around book 2000 of how much she's actually read 2) A first time reader. Big difference of opinion between the two? Yep. Shall we?

The Review of Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone by J.K. Rowling:

If you don't know what this series is about by now then dig yourself out from under your rock and Google it. I kid. The book opens with the celebration of Voldemort disappearing through the eyes of the Muggle family the Dursley's. We find out the Potters are related to the Dursley's through Petunia Dursley. The Potters die and Harry is left on the doorstep of the Dursley household by Hagrid in thanks to Dumbledore.

Harry grows up as most kids do but he's forced to live in a cupboard, is barely allowed food, and isn't allowed anything his annoyingly spoiled rotten cousin Dudley is allowed. I took a step back here and thought that someone in this poor kid's school should have noticed some form abuse but it was never mentioned.

I mean, Harry was wearing hand-me-downs that obviously didn't fit him, was being beat up, had glasses that were taped together and was half-starved. You would think a teacher might have become suspicious of something. But no, Harry lives in Hell until his 11th birthday.

Then the letters are delivered. And delivered. And delivered which was freaking hilarious. Vernon's attempts to prevent Harry from finding out he's a wizard are comical and the (second) introduction of Hagrid is awesome.

Harry realizing he's a wizard and the entire scene about buying his supplies and getting to Hogwarts was well described. The magic has rules, it has to be taught, their are different veins of it, and it's complex. It's a good magic system and works for the book.

Admittedly I knew kind of how the book ends and who the minor bad guy was. It was still cleverly hidden under the guise of Snape being the one out to get Harry during Harry's first year at Hogwarts. Another thing that bugged me is the simple fact of people saying Harry convinced the Sorting Hat to put him in Gryffindor. All Harry did was think "Anything but Slytherin" and the Hat said "Oh, okay, Gryffindor then." There was no convincing and no arguing between the two.

You can kind of guess someone is leading Harry along in the discovery of who's trying to swipe the philosopher's stone and how he finds out in the first place. We find out it was all Dumbledore in the end which I suspected. It still made for an entertaining read, especially watching these kids figure things out and put the pieces together.

It did strike me as odd to remember these kids are only 11. Hermione seems way too brilliant to be only 11. And magic or not, what school let's kids wander about without guides when there's a random missing stair in the middle of a stairwell? It seemed at times the group was more akin to middle or later teens than pre-teen, especially Harry's reactions when facing the mini-bad.

Harry being as good as a kid who's been on a broom most of his life is unbelievable. Natural or not there should be some stumbling about, some kind of fear, something when Harry gets on the broom the first time to get back Neville's dropped rem...stone thing. Sorry, I suck with names. Harry being able to control a broom because his father was a natural is like saying the kids of Nascar racers can get into a Nascar racing car and have no issues even though they've never driven. Ain't gunna happen no matter how good your parent is.

Harry being given a flute by Hagrid when there's no indication Harry even plays music is too convenient when it so happens the flute is the object that stops Fluffy from attacking them. Also, what 11 year old who's never held a flute knows how to play it well enough to subdue a Cerberus? The fact two 11 year olds can do it is too neatly bowed. I would have rather one of them know a spell for putting the creature to sleep then just happen to know how to play a flute a mentor just happened to give them.

Then the school year passing so damned quickly with no real mentions of a lot of the spells they learn or how Harry's adjusting to magic life. There's not even a whole "OMFG WHAT!?" panic scene. I don't care who you are or how young you are: you see magic for the first time and you're gunna freak out for a while.

What also throws me off is some of the names. You have two main males as Harry and Ron. Normal, simple syllables, easy to pronounce. The main female? Hermione. The Hell? I'm not 100% sure I'm saying it right in my head. Why does it have so many more letters than the other two? If this is the case, shouldn't she be the hero, not Harry?

With the simplicity of Harry and Ron, we've got names like Vernon, Petunia, Hagrid, Dumbledore, Neville, and Seamus. There are other simple names like Draco and Snape but if we really wanted a contrast between the trio of heroes and the others Hermione's name should be more like Harry or Ron.

And yes, I do get some of the names not matching up because wizards/witches vs muggles but Hermione comes from a family of non-wizards. Harry's parents were both magical. Ron's whole family is magical. And yet other wizards are Albus, Severus, and Quirinus Quirrell. The HELL? I'm also leaning towards Quirrell being killed because wow, that name would've pissed me off to keep writing it over and over.

Would I read Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone again?

Yeah, probably. It is enchanting and funny.

The Negatives

Besides the aforementioned naming, the disbelief of Harry master a broom so quick, and the disbelief at times that these kids are 11: I can't think of anything. So, off we go to Amazon to see what those 1-star review said.

There are A LOT of negatives about Pottermore which is a little disturbing. Something so huge and directly connected to the author should not be giving buyers such issues. There are some translation issues which is again, bad research on someone's part. One review said the book was too long. At 309 pages, um, no, it's about average. Any shorter and it'd lose the descriptions entirely and those descriptions are what make the book magical.

One review said the characters were too stereotypical and the plot was ripped off from Tolkien's Lord of the Rings. Fair enough. I dare said reviewer to find me a book that isn't ripped off from some other book in some way though. I also dare said review to find me a book without stereotypes in any sense of the word. Stereotypes are stereotypes because in some instances they're completely true.

We've all known the preppy, know-it-all nerdy girl in school. I was one. The fat kid being the evil jerk? Yeah, there were some over-weight boys in elementary who were jerks and greedy. It does annoy me that Dudley is pictured as dark haired in the movies when it so obviously says he's blonde in the books.

Other reviews said the books were boring and like most other wizardly stories out there. JK Rowling is an average author with a typical story and that's fine. She wrote the right book at the right time for the right audience and became famous. One in a million chance and it took. I say good for her.

The concept that seems to irk most reviewers is the fact Harry lied, disobeyed rules, and did "bad guy" things to save the world. Yeah, cuz heroes can't do bad. How many times have the Avengers destroyed a city to save it? How many times have good guys kept a secret in order to save the world? We all know how horrible Dr. Greg House was but people LOVED his character and he saved people.

Also, Harry's 11. He's totally allowed to hate the people who hate him or treat him wrong. Saying he can't hate his enemies is ridiculous. Having the entire book in Harry's perspective? Uh, yeah, why not? His name's the one in the title, what did you expect? No we're not going to see Draco, or Ron or Hermione's perspective because THEY are not what the book is about. Though I am sure there was a perspective shift to Hermione when Harry almost fell off his broom in Quiddich. No way would Harry have seen Hermione going after Snape to stop him from jinx-ing Harry's broom.

I do agree with one reviewer in saying the villains all seem completely unredeemable. There's no gray-area when it comes to the villains but apparently Snape is a pretty good guy even though he's evil. Plus this is only book one so nothing is solid yet.

Final review: 2/5 for avid readers out of the age bracket. Some things were too unbelievable (flute and broom handling), the names threw me off, and the story itself was kind of, eh. Entertaining yes. There were some good one-liners and nice comic relief ("But there's no wood!" *snickers*). For intended audience and non-avid readers: 4/5.

Until next time: thoughts, comments, rages, rants, questions, and out-right insults can be directed to the comments section.