Writers Change

Like everything else: writer's change.

The process we use to finish a story, the language we use, the simple fact if we're someone who plans or plots: it can change. Evolve. Hopefully become something better.

I've changed as a writer. Oh I'm still trying to write a million words every year but what those words are is a bit different from prior years. Heck all you have to do is head over to my "Novel Series" tab up there and you'll see the change.

In 2014 I wrote 16 novels. In 2015 I wrote four novels. In 2016 I wrote one. This year I've finished one novel.

Some people might say that's a decline. Well, it's not. I still maintained my "writing a million words in a year" or MilWordy goal. How? Avalora School of Magic.

It's my baby, my literal ongoing story which despite having an ending planned: is going to take a long time to get there. I'm writing the first term of fourth year and we've got to year ten. There is likely going to be a few chapters for "after graduation" years for all six main characters but I haven't decided yet.

This year I'm also working on a novel called Rebirth: Nine Lives. It's about a cat-person hybrid (neko-jin) who literally has nine-lives. The main character dies and is reborn remembering each of their lives and taking their experiences into the next one. I'm starting life four but this will be regular novel sized.

Each life is written in the first person which I haven't done since writing Tale of the Twins. Each life will see the main character facing new challenges with new people, new friends, new enemies, but the same goal. It's been fun so far and I'm going to get back to it sometime this year to finish it.

Now yesterday, I believe I've started a second ongoing series which potentially has no end in sight. This one is called The Interviewer and it's about a free-lance writer who makes a living interviewing vampires.

So far I've gotten part of Cindy's book started. Cindy is a scuba-diving writer and I'm completely blaming a writer I loosely follow on tumblr. for her existence. It wasn't even the writer herself but someone she...re-tumblred? Is that the word? I have no idea.

I haven't decided on other characters for The Interviewer series but there's a few swimming around in my head. Obviously the free-lancer writer is going to be a constant character as she seeks out other vampires to interview in a modern world.

In said modern world, vampires exist and we've known about their existence. We've kind of accepted them into society and they have some visual markers of being a vampire. Fangs, paleness, cantered ears, and claws, you know, the usual. Also the blood drinking and not being able to go into the sun, immortality and such.

I'm loosely thinking about releasing The Interviewer in some kind of insane attempt at Patreon once I get some good buffer content started. I'm also thinking about starting my own tumblr page because everyone seems to be on there.

Between work and friends I have little free time to write and plan, well, that I give myself. I'm stalling, really, and being lazy. Guess it comes from the fear of being rejected as a writer or something. More on that in some other post...which may be a few months from now. Ahaha. Sorry.

Anyway, one thing I did do was make myself a new link over there in the links area. So, if you feel like being nice:

Though I don't actually drink coffee. Or tea. I'm more of a hot chocolate person. But it'd be nice if you clicked the button.

That's it for this less-than-monthly-update on my comings and goings. Thank you to any regular still out there. Perhaps I'll get more into this promoting this year. Here's to hoping.

Writing Tip #21: Who You Are

If you've made it to Tip #21 then you're now thinking to yourself: "Um, Renna, I'm a writer. Duh." Obviously. But like everything else in the complex world which is writing, you're more than a writer. Author? Sure. Editor? Yep. Promoter? Probably, well, should be. Social media royalty? It'd likely help.

This is not about you being a writer or any of the above. It's about who you are as a writer. Do you plan and plot out every detail? Do you open up a blank page, have a theme in mind and go with it? Are you a mix of both?

We'll go deeper: do you find you write better in the morning, afternoon or night? Are you more productive in small bursts or long sessions? Do you need to work on multiple projects at the same time or are you the kind of person who has to get something completely finished before moving onto something else?

Do you have to turn off spell check and grammar check to get a chapter done? Do you have to go back and read what you wrote before to get back into the groove? Do you have to edit as you go? Do you have to write in silence or can you write with background noise?

Do you write old-school with pen/pencil and paper or is everything stored on your computer? Do you need to use a fancy writing program or are you okay with the basics? Do you write linerally or write whatever scene catches your interest?

Why is this important?

Well, figuring out who you are as a writer will help you succeed in you know, writing. If you don't know what makes you reach your peak word count goals per hour/day/week/month/year then you'll never hit those goals.

The problem is figuring out what kind of writer you are can take time. It can also change over time in drastic ways. Finding out your most successful approach to writing comes with experience and investment. It can also come with changes in technology as the world around us ages.

See, I used to hand write everything on paper with pencil or pen. I would never finish anything and never planned. I would write whenever and paper didn't have spell check so naturally I didn't edit as I went.

Now, everything I need for a novel can be found in one Word doc with a supplimentry document usually called "planning." I can still write whenever and I need to go back and read what I wrote to get back into the groove. I edit as I go and I always write from beginning to end, never deviating from the timeline to write a cool scene I'm looking forward to ahead of what comes before it.

I'm also a mix of both plotter and pantser. I have a large picture understanding, characters, a timeline, and maybe a few subplots but the majority of details and sometimes even entire scenes are written on a whim.

Heck, sometimes the entire story changes as I go and I end up with something better than I thought I would. I have to have music playing in the background or my brain will wander off and I won't get anything done.

Knowing all of the above has helped me win multiple NaNos, Camp NaNos, and has allowed me to successfully write a million words for the past, er, four years? Yeah. Something like that. It's allowed me to finish forty-someodd novels, a bunch of short stories and start Avalora (which is never-ending I swear).

I've also been able to plan my life around my writing. I know what I need to hit my optimal word counts and know how many hours it would take me to bang out a medium sized chapter. This means if I know I'm getting up early (or need to) I can plan some extra time to write during the week. I can plan around life-stuff and writing-stuff and not fall behind on anything.

I have time to socialize, to plan trips, work, and STILL make the million in a year. Mind you, I have gone from "must work on one project at a time" to "can work on more than one project" mainly because of the sheer size of Avalora and man, sometimes I need a break from the universe despite how much I love it.

There isn't a magic pill or special trick to figuring out who you are as a writer. You have to try everything in order to find the perfect flow but once you do then you'll be better for it.

Until next time: you know what to do.

To be a Writer

There is a question that normally pops up around NaNoWriMo time that always makes me think. It's usually something along the lines of: "Are you a real writer?" or "You know you're a writer when..."

I all ready know I'm a writer and I believe that the reason is different for every writer out there. It's just like how the way I write won't work for everyone else, the reason I write or how I know I'm a writer will be different for everyone else.

Despite this I think there are a few things that every writer has in common.

Perseverance: You can also call it determination. It's the simple fact that even if we're rejected or we fail that we'll keep trying no matter what. We'll plaster our walls with rejection letters before giving up on getting a book published and if we can't get it traditionally published we'll work on being the best damned self-published author we can be. And if we fail at that, Hell, we'll STILL keep writing because at some point we will write a book that someone will take a chance on. It could also be called sheer madness. (I jest)

Ambition: This is the WILL to succeed and goes hand in hand with perseverance. It's the desire to succeed and sometimes it's the only thing that will keep you going.

Tough Skin: I don't mean this literally. I mean that most of writers either have or develop (or have to develop) a hard outer shell so they can take criticism without spiraling into depression or whatever. It takes a strong person to keep coming back after negative feedback and trying again.

Imagination: I think this is pretty self-explanatory. If you don't have a creative mind it's going to be difficult to get into something that begs for originality and creativity. Writers are constantly asking: "What if?"

Courage: You think it's easy to put your work, something you slaved over for months or years out there and not be nervous? It doesn't matter if it's the first time or the 50th time there is still that little voice in the back of an author's head that says: "What do I do if they don't like it?"

Always writing: If you say "I think I've written my last book" then you're probably not cut out for being a writer. We never stop and when we try to stop we come back. Stephen King tried to retire once (maybe twice) and it never happened. Writing isn't a job. It's something that is a part of you that you physically cannot stop. You know those withdrawal symptoms drug abusers get when they come off the drug? It's the same thing that happens to writers when they try to stop writing. It just doesn't work. The only reason a writer stops writing is because they physically can no longer write.

A touch of insanity: Really, how sane are you when you become different people on occasion to get into the mind of your new MC? And how sane are you when you've got an "Inner Editor" otherwise known as this person in your head who keeps telling you how to write or what to write and that you suck?

Blood, Sweat and Tears: Sometimes literally. You will cry at rejection letters or horrible critics. You will sweat your ass off when you send your book to an editor wondering if it's good enough. You might even bleed from stress inducted hernias. Doesn't that sound like fun? But, it's all part of that desire (ambition), determination (perseverance), and daring (courage).

When you think about it, all writers are the same. We all have this drive to keep going, we take insults, we bring to life strange worlds, we put ourselves out there, we don't stop and we're a bit nuts. Most of us are also sleep deprived, caffeine addicted, have an animal as a best friend, and like to be alone with our words. But that makes us sane.

Until next time rants, rage, questions, and everything in between can be directed to the comments. Don't forget to check out my Kickstarter Campaign to get Burnt: The Story of the Fire King out there.

Thick Skin

First off I'd like to apologize for randomly wandering off for a month. I tend to get involved in things like writing, self-loathing, work, depression, and life in general. I can't even say I've been working on the rest of the 2014 "Novel Series" posts because I haven't. I've got one almost ready which is book two for the year and I'm up to five books for this year.

Second I'd like to say that I've probably been suffering with some form of depression for the past ten years (or more) and sometimes it's really hard to cope with it. I can come off as okay and happy on small things like Twitter or NaNo Forum posts but most days I feel like crap. I don't want to get out of bed or when I go to sleep I wish that I won't wake up. The only way I deal with it is by writing a novel and immersing myself in a character's life because most of the time it's about as crappy (or more so) than mine.

This depression was brought on by a lot of things that I don't feel like getting into right now but one is important to this post. So, away we go.

For those of you that don't know: if you want to be a writer you have to have a thick skin. I don't have a thick skin. It's probably part of the reason I don't promote so much because I'm afraid of what people are going to think. I know that if someone thinks badly of my work that I'll start hating it myself and then I'll stop writing.

That's exactly what happened tonight. A friend asked how I was doing in the writing front so I did what I probably shouldn't do: I Googled my name. To be honest, there were a lot of good things coming up. But I found a review for one of my books that simply said "Don't bother." Never mind the same book had a "not bad" review on it. It's the "don't bother" that stings.

Now, I understand that I can't please everyone. I also understand that the book in question is four years old. I'd like to think that my writing style has improved since then. I also understand the concept behind having a thick skin.

That doesn't mean a comment like that, two (or three) simple words, doesn't sting. It hurts. It made me stop writing in the middle of chapter tonight because I thought: "Well why bother?" Then I started thinking about how even after four years and a month that I haven't made the money I spent on my books back. I started re-evaluating my whole thought process on being a writer in general: "why bother with it?" "you know no one's going to read this," "there are people out there better than you," "you don't deserve to be a writer," "you have no future," and etc.

It's a whole downward spiral that I think I'm coming out of. It would be the quickest I ever came out of one, that's for sure but it's a good thing. It means I'm developing that thick skin and not taking a bad comment to heart. I'm not bursting into tears over it and I'm not feeling like I should delete everything and never speak of this again.

No, instead I'm thinking "well, he didn't like it. Hm, why? Let's go read it. It's not that bad. Yeah, it can be improved here, and here. Okay, so he doesn't like my writing. Big deal." Other people have liked it, well, thought it was okay. I'm good with okay because if it was okay four years ago, my writing is better than okay now. Rule of averages and all that.

What I'm trying to say is that for every bad comment there are probably at least four or five that aren't so bad. If you're lucky there's only one bad comment in a hundred. But that one bad comment will be the death of you if you let it. So don't let it. I know it's hard but hey, so long as your writing pleases you and you're happy with it, who cares?

Oh, and so you know: I didn't make it to Round Two in the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award contest. I also haven't submitted a damned thing because (if you hadn't noticed) I take rejection pretty horribly. That and I'm still on the fence about the debate of self-publishing (as unsuccessful as it's been for me) and traditional publishing. It's part of that whole self-loathing thing that only goes away when I'm putting my characters through some trial or another.

Until next time: comments, questions, rage, rants and everything in between can be directed to the comments.

Admitting Defeat

For those of you that don't know: my goals for this year were pretty damned ambitious. I had set out to write 850,000 or so by the summer (June, finishing the thriller series) and to do that had set a pace to write two books a month. I failed in January but accomplished the goal in February. I won't be accomplishing it any other month.

Why?

Because it's too damned hard.

Yes. It's too damned hard. As much as I write, as long as I've been writing, this is one goal that I cannot feasibly accomplish. Keeping that kind of pace (about 140,000 a month) is sheer insanity and as crazy as I am it just can't be done.

I don't often say "it can't be done" but I know when to admit defeat and I'm admitting it this time. Why? Because at the end of February I had to wear a wrist brace on my right wrist. That's right: I was writing too much and was starting to do permanent damage to my wrists.

So instead of stopping my writing career before it began I decided to slow down. It's probably the best decision I've made in the past few years. Slowing down has taken off all the pressure and I've found that I enjoy writing again.

I'm going to be honest (as I normally am) for a while there I was starting to see writing as a chore. It was something I had to do not something I wanted to do. That should never be.

As a writer: I was born to write and if writing becomes something I hate doing then I don't have the ability to write anymore, right? Rather than make what I love (what I'm supposed to enjoy) a chore I decided to turn it fun again.

From now until November my goal is to write a book a month. For most people that's ambitious but for me it's realistic. I can manage that. I don't have to completely shun my friends or family because I'm writing. I don't have to worry that I spent an hour watching TV because I have to get second novel done. I can meander along at a pace that I'll be happy with.

I'm not even entirely concerned if I don't hit the million this year. Hell, I've all ready got two MilWordy's under my belt and even if I only write a book a month I can get pretty close to that 1,000,000 word goal by the end of November. And since I've freed my mind I'll likely write more than a book a month. It'll be a book and a short story or two or it'll be a book and a half. That's what happened last year.

So yes: sometimes it is okay to admit defeat especially when admitting that defeat means you're saving you're health and something you love. The thing you love to do should never become a chore and when it does you have to re-evaluate why it's become a chore.

Until next time: comments, questions, rage, rants and everything in between can be directed to the comments.

Why I write and a preview...

It always flabbergasts me when I log onto Twitter. I lose a follower (or five) but gain about the same. I figure it is because I'm not particularly active and that's fine.

I remember when it used to seriously bother me as well as make me feel horrendous when I lost a follower. Now I know a bit better and don't take it as a personal insult.

But, that is not what is the most astonishing thing about Twitter. What really awes me is the amount of followers some people gain in a short time (10,000 in five months for some). I've read Mr. Locke's book so it's not a big secret. One has to market and put their name out there constantly.

There is only one problem with that for me: I'm not a full-time author. I work all day and come home mentally drained to the point where I can't think of anything witty or humorous to say to attract more attention or readers.

I can't quit my job. Well, I could technically. But I've never been one to put all my faith in one stream of revenue. Quitting my job is a frightening prospect when I have bills that must be paid and no safety net to fall back on.

It's a conundrum. In order to market more, I need to do it full time. To do that, I must take a giant leap of faith and hope enough people buy my work so I can live. If they don't I will fall into debt and homelessness: I will be screwed.

For the past few weeks I have asked myself: Why write if no one is actually going to read my work? I could not think of an answer to be wonderfully blunt. It scared me and I lost some of that self-confidence I had been famous for in the past.

Of course, this resulted in a kind of depression which has led me to be completely inactive on any social network and caused me to fumble on the release date of Apocalyptic (Doomsday anthology - out Monday). I have not written or read my own work in about three weeks while I pondered over that query.

All authors will reply to the inquiry of why they write differently. Some do it for the money, many because they feel they were born to, various others because they enjoy it, and even those others for the fame.

After perusing a wonderful blog by Russell Blake and reading over the answers of Stephen King, Jeaniene Frost, Yasmine Galenorn, and others that I can't remember at the moment, I believe I have it figured out.

I write for myself. I know, it sounds selfish but allow me to iterate that further. I write because I enjoy creating characters, dreaming about magical powers, and living dangerous situations (safely through someone else's eyes).

So what if I have a handful of fans? Big deal if no one buys my work by the millions. Who cares if I don't become a New York Times Bestseller? I write for myself. If someone happens to come across my work and like it: awesome, wonderful, amazing, wo-hoo!

If not, I'm not going to lose sleep over it. I'm not going to shed tears about it. I may be upset that no one else will get to love (or hate) my characters as much as I do but that is their own loss. I love (and hate) my characters and I'm going to continue to be their voice.

Why? Because it's fun. Because I can. Because I was born with an over-active imagination. Because I HAVE THE TECHNOLOGY.

Because if I don't write their stories my brain will implode, bleed out of my ears, flood out of my nose and soak my keyboard with gray matter. Nice imagery, I'll have to inform my graphic artist of that. There will be fun had by all.

As I penned this down (and I DID actually hand write this in a notebook) I've come to the conclusion that I will always write. Even if no one ever reads what I write, I will continue to create. That does not mean I'll stop promoting to the best of my ability. I will try to get others to love (or hate) my characters, settings and stories as much as I do.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to finish polishing off the five stories for Apocalyptic that will be coming out Monday. Below you will find an excerpt to keep you busy.

Oh, one more thing: my graphic designer is an ADHD monkey and created a funky image based on the story in the preview below. Said image shall be posted soon as I haven't uploaded it anywhere and it's technically not fully complete yet.

Until then, Good-night and don't let the souls from the foulest pits of Hell drag you into Limbo where you will wander in the cold darkness for eternity.

Preview of Music:

I’m not entirely sure how or why it happened. I just woke up one day and it was silent as if I had gone deaf over night. This deafness for me would be my worst fears come true. I’m a musician through and through. Not famous but good enough to play at a local bar every weekend for some extra chump change that my 9AM to 5PM job doesn’t offer enough of.

Rather, didn’t offer enough of. Or something. I’m not entirely sure anymore. All I know for certain is that there was no one else around. No baby crying from the apartment next to mine (fucking relief that is), no car horns honking outside my window, no chatter of the girls downstairs or the mind-blowing bass of the guy upstairs.

My alarm didn’t even wake me up. Like I said, it was like I had gone deaf. The sun light coursing through my window did the honor of making me peel back my eyelids and squint at the bright ceiling above. There was no panic since it was a Saturday and I really considered falling back into an alcohol induced coma.

Of course, I didn’t hear anything so I panicked and reached for my guitar. Sound came clear and unobtrusive. I’m not deaf. I’m not blind either. I think I might be too drunk or high to realize that I’m on some crazy fucked up trip through. I mean, the whole world can’t disappear in a day, can it?

Then I took a close look at the date: December 22nd, 2012. Yep: Doomsday, the apocalypse, End of Days, and all that bullshit was yesterday. It seems that for everyone else, it came true. Whatever it was. Maybe it was the rapture and Jesus slung down from heaven on a white horse to take all his followers up by golden carriages bringing them into ever loving peace and paradise in Heaven while simultaneously casting all the sinners to the burning pits of Hell to be sodomized and burned.

Hey, I did say I could be high. Whatever the case, I was alone. Completely and utterly alone. Of course, I was suspicious of my complete and utter lack of company so I decided to do what any relatively sane person would do when faced with a similar situation. I walked the streets of New York with nothing but my guitar strapped to my back...