Review: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Why did I pick it up?
Final book to finish off the Harry Potter series. I finished it on March 12 which means I took a little less than two months from start to finish.
Funny story: right after I finished reading it and moved onto the trilogy I'm reading now I saw someone at work had started reading this one. Same cover and everything. It was fun.

The Review of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by JK Rowling:
Know how I've been complaining about the same pattern for the last six books? Well it's broken! Sort of. We do start out with a  scene of Voldemort torturing some poor soul who we later find out is Hogwart's Muggle Studies teacher.

Harry spends some time cleaning out his room at the Dursley's house and examining the paper which has Dumbledore's eulogy and an article with an interview with Rita Skeeter about her new book that apparently reveals the truth about Dumbledore. Harry's obviously upset over the paper but begins to pack his bags to leave.

The Dursleys are leaving too as the moment Harry turns 17 the protection on the house will be gone and the Dursleys could be in trouble. It was nice to see Dudley giving Harry a nice good bye. I was disappointed nothing further was taken with the Dursleys here. They could have been mentioned in the end but this is the last we see or even hear of them.

Harry is to be brought to the Burrow for safe keeping and a group of witches and wizards will be pairing off to make fake Harry's and hopefully distract from the real one. This is where the deaths begin. Harry and the group leave but are attacked because Snape knows when Harry's supposed to leave and obviously told Voldemort. Hedwig is killed in the ensuing battle but Harry does manage to escape after meeting Tonk's parents. He gets to the Burrow to find out Mad Eye Moody was also killed and George Weasley lost an ear.

The Minister of Magic comes to deliver the gifts Harry, Ron, and Hermione received from Dumbledore: the first Snich Harry caught, the Deluminator, and a book of fairy tails in that order. Harry was also supposed to get the Sword of Gryffindor but the Minister wouldn't hand it over. Yes all of these are important. ;)

The preparations for Bill and Fleur's wedding take place as normal and Harry is disguised. He does run into Krum who is peeved at Luna's father for wearing some kind of evil symbol. The wedding is broken up by the Death Eaters who have taken over the ministry. Harry, Hermione, and Ron escape to Sirus' old place (which he inherited) and camp out there for a while. Thanks to Hermione's quick thinking (and a convenience plot hole) she managed to bring all their things with them in a bottomless purse.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione live in the musty old house until figuring out Kreacher helped Regulus (Sirus' brother) destroy the original locket/Horcrux Dumbledore had died for. Harry starts being nice to Kreacher and Kreacher is kind in return. He brings them the dude who stole the locket and they realize they need Gryffindor's sword to break it. The trio leave the house but are caught on the way back and have to begin backpacking through England as they can no longer stay in one spot.

On their travels Ron ends up leaving the group because he had hoped Harry had a better plan in looking for the Horcruxes. Hermione and Harry continue on their travels and Harry's wand ends up breaking when the duo fall into a trap. Harry is lead to a pool where Gryffindor's sword is by a patroneous doe (important point) and almost dies but Ron saves him. They figure out what the Deathly Hallows are: the Elder Wand, Harry's invisibility cloak, and the resurrection stone. Harry knows Voldermort is going after the Elder Wand so he can beat Harry once and for all.

They end up getting captured by Death Eaters but Hermione disguises Harry and Dobby comes to save the group. Harry and Ron go to save Hermione who was separated from them (fun plot point so you can see for yourself) and in their escape they manage to steal two wands. Dobby is killed on their way out.
More happens here but Voldermort does end up possessing the Elder Wand. We also see Snape was the one who sent the doe patroneous to lead Harry to the sword. And Snape gives Harry the memories of what transpired in all of Snape's life after Voldemort gets his snake to kill Snape. Harry finds out the truth about everything. Oh, did I mentioned they've made it all the way to Hogwarts now and the school is where the final battle takes place?

It makes sense in a way. Everything began there and what better battle ground. Voldemort's death was anti-climatic. His killing curse bounced back on him and that was that. There is a bit of a death count: Lupin, Tonks (who were married and just had a kid), and Fred. Neville saved part of the day by beheading Voldemort's snake with Gryffindor's sword so that was pretty cool.

Then we hit the epilogue. We find out Ron and Hermione are married with kids, Harry and Ginny are married with three kids, and Hell, even Draco got married. Despite everything, the Malfoys are still a-okay to be out and about. Now, I do see why they weren't killed before (plot devices anyone?) but still. This family has shown a willingness to go to the dark side and they're walking around like nothing happened. Like they didn't help kill so many people and side with the bad guy. It's annoying. I mean, they didn't even get a slap on the wrist.

Again, no mention of the Dursleys. No mention on how George is doing without Fred or if he continued the joke shop. No mention of Hagrid, who the headmaster is for Hogwarts, nothing. After all the focus on the school over 7 books all we know is Neville is a teacher there. Also: Harry's worked up to be this decent wizard, said he was going to be a Auror (job's kind of mote without Death eaters anyway) and has a talent for Quiddich but do we know what he does for work? Nope. We don't know anything about the three except they got married and are sending their kids off to Hogwarts.

Even just one more paragraph would have answered all those questions. Yeah, great to know "all was well" but how well? Did George ever get married? How are the rest of the Weasleys? What about Luna and the other Gryffindors? The Dursleys? Kreacher and the House Elves?

The Negatives:

Besides those mentioned above, for a book pegged at young adults there is a lot of death in here. I find this holds true for Hunger Games and a few other popular series for young adults. I mean, I get the world can't be all peachy but Harry Potter is originally pegged for kids under 10. Yeah, they would've grown up by the seventh book but still.

Also: the neat little bow wasn't so neat. There are still points left uncovered after the epilogue which I guess is okay. Do we need to know who runs the school or what the trio is doing? I guess not but after seven books I would've liked to know something besides marriage and children. Hell, we don't even know what happens to Hagrid and his giant half-brother.

Were all the deaths needed? Not really. Hedwig, Mad Eye, Dobby, and Snape: yes. Fred, Lupin, and Tonks? Nope. Yeah people die in war but did we really need to make another orphaned kid right after Lupin finally becomes happy? Did we really need to rip apart the twins like that to show the horrors of this war? Not really. We knew the horrors. We saw the bodies in the Great Hall. We saw Lavender and Colin. Crabbe (though technically a bad guy) a bunch of death eaters, goblins, and the 50 dead Hogwarts students were all enough.

The other thing that bugs me is the way Harry treats the Deathly Hallows. He leaves the resurrection stone somewhere in the forest where anyone with enough balls can find it. He reburies the Elder Wand with no protection and he likely still has the cloak but we're never told. These are objects of immense power and he leaves them lying around. COME ON. Who's to say someone's NOT going to go grab the Elder Wand, come kill you with it, then take over the world?

That sucker should have been broken. The rock should've been tossed in the middle of the freaking ocean. And the cloak? Yeah, that's not as dangerous unless someone with the wrong ideas grabs it. I mean really. Most powerful objects in the world and just left around like nothing.

The book itself was quite dark and comparing this last one to the first one is like moon and sun. You'd never think book 1 could have developed into this theme-wise. I mean yeah, Voldemort would have eventually had to die and Harry would have had to suffer loss but not to this proportion, not in a book for kids.

Final Review: 3/5 for adults, 2/5 for the intended audience.

Until next time thoughts, comments, rages, rants, questions, and out-right insults can be directed to the comments section.

Writing Tip #16: Basic HTML For Writers

For those self-published authors who are doing it all I put together a handy-dandy cheat sheet for those thinking of formatting their own blogs, webpages, and whatever else without the help of a WYSIWYG editor. Let's start with the meaning of WYSIWYG: "What you see is what you get." You're going to be fine.

All HTML, CSS, etc is made up of TAGS. No, not the game you played as a kid. These are the end braces, brackets and other such do-hickies you've never had a use for. Depending on the coding language a tag can include: < > or ( ) or { } or [ ]. You'll mostly be using ( ) and <>. The first ( ) is mainly used in some internet forums. The second <> is used in actual HTML and websites.

The stuff that goes between those braces is the command for what you want your webpage to do. So <strong> means to make something BOLD. In word editing programs and WYSIWYG you hit Ctrl+b. If you're in Blogger or Wordpress and flip over to "HTML" instead of "Compose" then you'll see the tag in action.

Tags come in two parts: opening and closing. At the beginning of every bit of code you will see <command>stuff you want the command to effect </command> See the '/'? It tells the webpage to end the command. If you forget the closing tag, then whatever the command is will effect your entire webpage. Let's move onto some simple commands.

"Renna! I want to make something bold!"
Then you use <strong>Type in bold bits here </strong>

"Renna! I want to put something in italics!"
Then you use <em> Type in italized bits here </em>

"Renna! I want to underline something!"
<u>Underlined bits here</u>

"Renna! I want to strike-through something!"
<strike>Strike-through bits here</strike>

Not bad, huh? Of course, these can all be found at the top of any WYSIWYG editing platform. So, what about links and pictures? Links are usually at the top of your WYSIWYG editor and a little window pops up where you put your link and yay! all good. But, what happens when your link breaks or you've accidently included a word you didn't want to or, or you need to READ the HTML?

This is the body of a link:
<a href="#">Link text here </a>

The a href tells the website where to go. The # is the actual link. So:
<a href="http://www.dairennav.blogspot.com">This blog's homepage </a>

YES, you need the quotes. YES you need the http:// No you don't necessarily need the 'www' YES you need to use an = sign. Anything missing from the tag and your link won't work. Fun fact: "a" stands for ANCHOR which is why in some WYSIWYG programs you'll see a little picture of an anchor instead of the word "link"

You want to look at an image tag? OKAY!

<img src="nameofimage.png/jpg/tiff" />

Confused? Don't worry, let's break it up. The picture tag is a self-closing tag and you can't see what it actually looks like until your preview your site. What's self-closing mean? You'll notice there's no ending tag and the / is INSIDE the >. That's self-closing.

img stands for image. src means source. You're basically telling the website "The image source is located between " "." Cool huh? Now, what's actually between our quotes? The name of your image and what format it's in: jpg, tiff, or png. Screw that up and your image won't display. You can host your images on alternate websites so your image tag might look like this:

<img src="http://www.website.com/imagename.png" /> In which you have your website name and the name of your image. Nifty huh?

"Wait, how do you control the size of the image and where it goes?"

I'm glad you asked. The image tag can get complicated:

<img src="nameofimage.png" height="430px" width="430px" vspace="5" hspace="5" border="2" />

What's all this mean? The height and width are the height and width of your image in pixels. vspace and hspace are the vertical and horizontal space between your image and whatever else is on the page. Border is the border around your images.

"Wait, how do I center it?"

Oh, now we're getting complicated. USUALLY you can add align="center" in your self-closing image tag and call it a day. Mm, not so much in MOST web applications as you'll find out when you start fiddling.

See, every website you look at is controlled by a little something called div tags which look like this: <div> stuff </div>. What's a div tag? It's a DIVision of the webpage. What's in between those div tags is a small section of your website and yes, you can have div tags inside of div tags. It's how people get a website with a colored background and a white block on top.

If you've added images in your Blogger/Wordpress account via the little image...picture at the top of your screen, then lots of options come up. If you flip over to HTML mode, you'll see a <div> tag in action. This is what's used to make your image do what you want it to do and as someone who has coded webpages by hand: divs can be a saving grace and annoying as Hell.

The question of "How do I center this image?" depends on everything else going on in your page. Yeah, I know, it's complicated.

You know what's even more fun? You can make your images clickable! If you flip on over to my "Store Tab" you'll see all my book covers lined up in neat little rows and columns with a "Buy Now" button under them with text between the two images. Cool huh? Wanna see the code?

<table>
<tr style="height: 550px;">      
<td>
<center>
<a href="https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/81428"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3S-2v4j9K3Y_RirOfe6zMSd_bQSH7PJzDf1DZxzCEuTzD21pWI26Kt6X-g9lC3Xjwyw2ZDNLrGDa-tUeSj3DzkQ9K7l9bwecj6mY4z-rVll92aqn8lKU9ZzFAkBVEWGZgFW1Cc3wdcCM/s1600/CoverartTEXT.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3S-2v4j9K3Y_RirOfe6zMSd_bQSH7PJzDf1DZxzCEuTzD21pWI26Kt6X-g9lC3Xjwyw2ZDNLrGDa-tUeSj3DzkQ9K7l9bwecj6mY4z-rVll92aqn8lKU9ZzFAkBVEWGZgFW1Cc3wdcCM/s320/CoverartTEXT.jpg" /></a></a></center>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>Small Slice of the Undead</i> can ONLY BE BOUGHT in ebook form through Smashwords.
<a href="https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/81428"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlCgKGb9SNjrk98k1GNiIGoovLGmmDpkvWMbzrvm03jH4g_ZIfSuLA9BayhpBCE56B9YNcBiGxodP74dgpoKMRNGGTF54_8WHJSBIrNDgItPzcf271SG2aPIi6QGk4O6jQ-sa_aLj3yHw/s320/buynow.jpg" /></a></div>
</td>   
<td>
<center>
<a href="https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/93437"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzjvrM3m2q_Q7fAWZv5tcuUJpcrbb8Iyn_UFF3uy8m_dseeZ-IqZq5PlyBwiar7IpSBBw1j5XUrew5IiZXsejDypH6XdAwUGgsvrM2KWWtUN6pFeYHChPS-QvyeUzeNcLu61XoXGDH4OE/s1600/Apocalyptic.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzjvrM3m2q_Q7fAWZv5tcuUJpcrbb8Iyn_UFF3uy8m_dseeZ-IqZq5PlyBwiar7IpSBBw1j5XUrew5IiZXsejDypH6XdAwUGgsvrM2KWWtUN6pFeYHChPS-QvyeUzeNcLu61XoXGDH4OE/s320/Apocalyptic.jpg" /></a></a></center>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>Apocalyptic</i> can ONLY BE BOUGHT in ebook form through Smashwords.
<a href="https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/93437"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlCgKGb9SNjrk98k1GNiIGoovLGmmDpkvWMbzrvm03jH4g_ZIfSuLA9BayhpBCE56B9YNcBiGxodP74dgpoKMRNGGTF54_8WHJSBIrNDgItPzcf271SG2aPIi6QGk4O6jQ-sa_aLj3yHw/s320/buynow.jpg" /></a></div>
</td>  
</tr>
</table>

Confused? Let's go through it. <table> and </table> create a you guessed it, table on your webpages. Fun fact: webpages used to be made entirely from tables back in the 90s. To make a proper table you need <tr> </tr> which is your table ROW. Inside that you need <td> and </td> which is your table DATA or columns. So, I have two <td> </td> tags inside a <tr> </tr> tag which means I have two columns in one row. That's not so bad, huh?

Hey look! There's our div tag! It's controlling the text that appears between my cover image and the "Buy now" image. What's that <center> </center> tag? It's what makes the cover image centered in the middle of the column in my table. See how there's a link tag wrapped around the img tag? THAT makes the image clickable. See that <i> </i>? That is the depreciated form of <em> </em> that makes something italics. It's still in use in some WYSIWYG editing programs and on some websites. 

What's the <tr style="height:550px;"> mean? That's telling the webpage to make my table ROWS 550px in height. Why did I use a table to make my store page instead of divs? It's way easier and keeps things neater, for me. It's personal preference really.

Now I know you're probably not going to use a lot of this information as most of you have a WYSIWYG editor for your blog and your website. Or you've hired someone. But, if it's the middle of the night and you've somehow gotten into HTML mode in your WYSIWYG, instead of panicking completely, you might be able to read the tags and figure out what to do.

If you really want to see some neat stuff, go to "View" and "Source" the next time you're on your favorite website. What will pop up in a new window is the coding behind that website. If you think the table was complex... ;)

Until next time: thoughts, comments, rages, rants, questions, and out-right insults can be directed to the comments section.

Review: Smoke and Bone Series

Why did I pick it up?

To be honest: I can't remember. I think it was in a three-pack, a finished series, and priced well so I grabbed it. See, I love when a series is finished, all together and ready to go like that. It means I don't have to wait a year or more for the next book thus forgetting everything that happened in prior books which generally forces me to read the prior books. I'm also impatient when it comes to knowing what happens next, so much so that I'll look for a summary somewhere so I don't have to wait.

Funny story, so I started watching The Walking Dead when it was in its second season. I got to the point where they leave Merle on the roof with his hand cuffed and a bunch of Walkers ready to break through the door. I was binge-watching and it was almost midnight, too late to see what happened to him so I turned off Netflix then went to look up what happened to him. Yes, I totally spoiled it for myself but that's okay. I'm one of those weird people who doesn't care about spoilers. You can tell me the ending of any movie I haven't seen or book I haven't read and I'll still watch or read it.

Anyway, I started this series right after finishing Harry Potter so...March-ish and finished it in a week. Yes, three books in one week. They were that good. ONWARDS!

The Review of The Smoke and Bone Series by Laini Taylor:

Normally I don't do a full post on a series but I kind of got really into this series and completely forgot to do a review after each book then started reading another series and here we are. Oops?

Anyway, our story follows Karou who's an art student in Prague. At first I had no idea what was going on and I remember being annoyed that this girl had such a blasé attitude about being strange. Then she started explaining how things she wished for came true...like her naturally blue hair. Then she met up with Brimstone. Well okay. AWESOME.

I mean that seriously. Suddenly we're thrown into a world where angels are trying to destroy demons and Karou has no freaking clue why or what's going on. She does see all the portals to Brimstone's world destroyed and the first book ends with Brimstone's death. Karou falls in love with one of the angels and it turns out the reason she has these eye tattoos on her hands (that hurt the angels no less) is because this is her second body. Yeah, you read that right. Her second body.

Originally she was a "demon" (chimera) who had been killed for loving that same angel and wanting to change the world. Brimstone managed to save her soul, make her body (a completely human one) and re-birth her, making up a complete lie of a life in an attempt to save her. Well see, NOW I'm really invested.

I believe this is where we moved into the second book. Again, I read them exceptionally quickly so my memory could be a little hazy. Turns out the angels are still killing the chimera but now that Karou's finally figured out who she is, she takes over for Brimstone's job: being the chimera resurrectionalist. Yes that's right, it's become Karou's job to bring the chimera who've fallen in battle back to life.

There's a whole bunch of awesome political stuff going on with the White Wolf and the leader of the angels, then we find out what the angels really are, and some more cool things happen. I don't want to get into too many details as it'll ruin the books.

These books were amazing. It's rare a book can capture me so effortlessly I can't put it down. This did it, all three of them and I wanted to stay up until I'd read them all. I do have to say I was weary about the story being set in Prague because of another book I read I ended up not liking. And being honest, this story would have survived if not set in Prague. Yeah, okay, Prague has this whole mystery thing going on around it with magic, etc, but I think the story would have had as much impact if it happened in any other city in the world.

Regardless, the story was great. I loved Karou and Zazuna. I was upset when we found out Brimstone was dead. Seriously I almost cried because he was an awesome character and finding out about the real him and Karou was great. Right after that: bam, he's dead. Urg. Overall: I was and still am impressed with the trilogy.

Would I read the Smoke and Bone Series again?

Hell to the yes. Over one weekend. Again. Because I'm cool like that.

The Negatives:

I can't find any negatives in this series. Like I said, the only thing that miffed me was it being in Prague. The other was how we were introduced to Karou and her strange ways. Kind of like, thrown into her oddness without really knowing how or why she was so odd. I almost didn't make it past the second chapter but held on and I'm glad I did.

Now, some of the negatives I am seeing is the fact Karou is a reincarnation of someone else. I think what people aren't getting is that this is kinda, sorta, integral to the plot of the entire series. There would be no book if that "someone else" didn't die and Karou didn't come about. And really: exact same soul with all old life experiences in new body with new life experiences. Not so much a reincarnation: an upgrade if you will. Karou is both this other person and herself.

The romance: Karou falling for Akiva totally and completely. Yes but then she leaves him at the end is entirely pissed at him for everything and yeah, eventually they get back together, yadda, yadda, but not until after they force separation on themselves and all the other fun stuff. Again: Angel falls in love with demon so yes it's kind of important the two have the whole "love at first sight" thing going on. And remember, Karou's soul remembers who Akiva was to her before she was killed. So yes. There is going to be an instant bond.

What I find really funny? How one person hated Karou's former being but love Karou herself. Again: without Karou's other being, half, life, we wouldn't have Karou so...yeah. Personally I would've loved to see more of this other self in the beginning chapters.

Final Review: 5/5 I adore this book and it's one of few that will stick with me for years to come.

Until next time: thoughts, comments, rages, rants, questions, and out-right insults can be directed to the comments.

Writing Tip #15: Vanity Presses

There will come a time when you've finished drafting your novel and you're ready to put it out there in the world. You have two choices when it comes to publishing: self-publishing and traditional publishing. There's a post in the "Writing Tips" tab called Self-Publishing is Hard Work which I suggest you check out for more information. You can do it now or later, either way is fine.

If you're still with me: I mention in Self-Publishing is Hard Work something called "Vanity Presses." More specifically, I say to avoid vanity presses. For those that don't know: a vanity press is a publication company that says they'll publish your book for you. Sounds good, right? It's not. When something sounds too good to be true then it usually is.

Before anyone asks, YES, I did publish through a vanity press. Tale of the Twins Book 1 was originally published by AuthorHouse in March 2010. So yes, I do know what I'm talking about. Below you will see a list because lists keep concepts neat and tidy. There's a lot to go through.

1) Money

When someone asks YOU to pay for publishing your book: RED FLAG. Money should only be dealt out on cover designs and editing because, hey, they have to be paid too. Now, a vanity press will charge you exuberant amounts of money to do a lot of what you can do on your own. You will be spending anywhere from two to five times the amount of money publishing your book if you go with a vanity press.

Yes, they will give you an ISBN. But you can get it for free.

Yes, they will give you promotional material. But it won't come with how to use said promotional material and said material is normally bookmarks, postcards, and business cards centered around this ONE book. This is fine if all you're ever looking to do is publish ONE book and not make a brand.

Yes, they will give you hard and soft cover copies of your book. Yes, it will be more expensive then getting them printed somewhere else. And yes, there has been cases when they HAVE NOT delivered on printed books.

Yes, they will do other promotional stuff...for a price.

Oh, and those prices you see on their websites? Mm, yeah, they don't include the cost of editing.

And the stuff they might list under marketing? Mmm, yeah, you can totally do it on your own for free.

2) Marketing

Despite what any vanity presses' website says: They will not market your book. Oh, they'll put out some news releases and put you on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and a few other sites. But that's all they'll do. And sure, they'll talk to Kirkus for you to get a review but only if you're willing to shell out $5000 for the whole package. Kirkus charges $425. Let's say editing is about $2000, cover is around $500...you're all ready saving by NOT going through a vanity press.

Sorry, we're on marketing. Oh, you might get a social media set up guide. So, they'll give you a list of what social media sites to sign up on and might even sign you up themselves. That is not marketing my friend. They will give you an account and you have to take care of it.

If you really shell out some cash you can do a couple of video interviews and get some stand-alone ads on Google...both of which won't work if no one knows who you are anyway. Interviews and videos only work if you can show people where those interviews and videos are, that is PROMOTE YOURSELF.

Don't buy into anything they say about marketing. You will be on your own and out a couple thousand dollars.

3) Your "Team"

A lot of these vanity presses talk about your personal "team" of people working on your novel. You get your own book consultant, cover design team, editor and EVERYTHING! In the four years I was with AuthorHouse I went through about ten book consultants, NOT through my own doing. They just got changed and I never saw the guy or girl before again. My cover design team got switched on me mid-cover design. I'm pretty sure my editor no longer works there. Personal team? Nope.

You will continually get people who know nothing about your book trying to sell you more hard copies of your book so they can get paid and you can sit there trying to figure out what to do. You are not a special member of their Publication House. You are a number and nothing more.

4) MORE Money

Every so often I'd get these calls from AuthorHouse telling me I was a special little snowflake that had been selected to participate in an event to promote my book. I fell into the trap and flew all the way to Los Angels for a Book-To-Screen event.

You are NOT a special little snowflake. You're number 54 of the thousands of authors in their "House" they've tried calling and who has said "yes" to doing said event. You will be shelling out MORE money to participate in the event then you will have to pay for your way TO the event, as well as your lodging AT the event.

My trip to Los Angeles wasn't a total bust (I did get a replica Saber Tooth Cat fang and to see a Tim Burton exhibit) but it did cost about $3000. What did I get out of it? The knowledge that some people thought my book was "too similar to Twilight", a replica Saber Tooth Cat fang, to see the Tim Burton exhibit, to say I've been to LA, a cool cab driver story, and to meet 149 other authors. Was it worth the $3000? Nope. Would I do it again? Nope.

Later that year I got a call about shelling out another $3000 to go to a book signing event in some park in Toronto with another 150 authors. Um, yes half a million people would be going through said park. No, just because I would be there wouldn't mean people would take copies of my free book. Yes, free. I wouldn't be making any money while there. I would just be gaining a readership. Oh, did I mention I would have had to BUY copies of my own book before going? No? Well yes, I would have had to buy copies of my book to hand out for free. Think about that for a minute. Yeah.

5) Your Rights

The cool thing about being self-published is you get to keep your rights. The not-so-cool thing about going traditional is you don't keep your rights. Vanity presses SAY you can keep your rights but if you decided to stop publishing through them you don't get to use anything with their name on it. What does that mean? Oh, the cover, the inside EDITED version of your book, the bookmarks, postcards, business cards, posters, and any other "promotional" material is null and void.

Why yes, that does mean you shelled out thousands of dollars to give up your rights and be back where you started before meeting said vanity press if you break contract. If you want to be able to use the cover, INSIDE EDITED VERSION OF YOUR BOOK, or anything else you have to pay a fee. Yes, that's right: you have to pay a fee. I suppose it's only fair. I mean they did do all this work setting you up with people and what not. But after spending $10,000 with them that extra fee felt like a kick to the groin.

Worse yet, if you want to self-publish on Amazon, you really can't. Why? Because THEY have all ready made a page for your other book and it would look stupid to have two separate accounts. That's not good for branding.

Did I mention you can't control your pricing? Well you can. But you can't offer the book in any kind of promotional deal with other books you might self-publish because you don't have access to the vanity press' book through Amazon. You can't offer that book for free because then you're throwing money out the window and THEY won't let you. And if you want to make any REAL money through them you've got to charge at least a dollar or more than other authors to make the same amount as them.

Do they tell you when your book is coming off their shelves? Nope. Do they deliver the files you paid for in a prompt and efficient manner before taking your book off their shelves? Nope. As of this writing (January 23), Tale of the Twins is no longer available on the AuthorHouse website but I still haven't gotten any of my files even though I paid the fee on January 9th. Yeah. Think about that for a minute.

So, an update to the file thing. I finally had to call to see where the Hell my files were. When did I call? March 23. March 23 after paying for my files on January 9. What did I get? A PDF of my novel. No cover. And no, not a Word doc which is easily editable for any excess pages, a PDF which when you convert over to a Word doc. you have to reformat everything. I'm currently in the process of reformatting line-by-stinking-line because there were excess pages, wonky paragraph tags, and a bunch of other crap I can't get rid of unless I literally bring a line into the paragraph before then do a hard return. Yeah. What did I pay $150 for? More work and needing a new cover.

In conclusion:

DO NOT USE A VANITY PRESS.

I will admit there have been some authors who have had success with vanity presses but they are few and far between. In order to be a success with a vanity press you have to have disposable income and you have to be able to promote yourself...which are the EXACT same things you need for self-publishing. Except with self-publishing you get to keep your rights. You'll also get to stick with one cover designer and editor who you'll grow to like and keep doing business with. A vanity press can't give you a permanent team. You can give yourself one.

I know it might not seem like it at first glance but it's MUCH, MUCH cheaper and better for you to self-publish without a vanity press. If you're going to self-publish you want as much control as possible so that your book will come out perfect. A vanity press can't offer you that.

And a funny note: There is a company out there who helps you to self-publish. They look like a vanity press but there are major differences. To be honest, I haven't checked them out as much as I normally do but they do offer a discount if you're trying to re-publish your book after being with a vanity press. Think about THAT for a minute. Yeah.

A note for those thinking I'm being bitter: AuthorSolutions (AuthorHouse and iUniverse for those curious) had a class action law suit filed against them. There's a section in Self-Publishing is Hard that talks about research. ALWAYS DO YOUR RESEARCH. Don't fall into the same trap I did.

Until next time: thoughts, comments, rages, rants, questions, and out-right insults can be directed to the comments section.

Another Million

Technically I should have posted this blog on June 31 but I got lazy. Oops? Anyway, another million down and six more months in the year to go.

What's funny about this million is it's less novels and more ongoing stories and short stories. I've written a total of four complete novels since January 1 which are Mists of Time Book 4: Adam's Story, Zombies 2, Death's Feet, and A Dragon's Rage. So, where did the other half a million or so come from?

Well 346,153 came from Avalora School of Magic. There were a lot of scenes written for character for another series, about 105K words or so. The planning for Avalora is over 7K. About 175K worth of fan fiction and about 10K for a short story and some random planning. Lemme break it down:

January: 158,491

• Mists of Time Book 4: Adam's Story
• Alternate Ending to Mists of Time Book 3
• Zombies 2
• Avalora Planning
• The Van Helgroves: Children, Timeline, Family/friends descriptions, and scene.

February: 132,736

• Zombies 2
• Avalora Planning
• Avalora School of Magic

March: 88,876

• Glory Hole: Kids
• Avalora School of Magic
• Death's Feet Planning

April (Camp NaNoWriMo): 126,539

• Glory Hole: Kids
• Death's Feet
• Avalora School of Magic

May: 253,040 (The biggest Word Count EVER in a month)

• A Dragon's Rage
• Avalora School of Magic

June: 240,823 (And the Million)

• End Days: Planning
• Avalora School of Magic
• A Dragon's Rage
• Naruto Fanfiction: One short story and one seemingly unending piece.

How did I write so much in May and June? Well on April 15th or so I had a mental break down because of a lot of reasons. Stress from work, former stresses I never really took care of, and a bunch of crap I can't seem to get away from now and I won't be able to get away from.

Essentially I was diagnosed with Anxiety Disorder (to the point I was clawing at myself before going to work) and was told to take 15 weeks off. The unfortunate part is because my prior job didn't pay into the government benefits thing, I only had about 422 hours of taxable work hours when I needed 600. So, I don't get any kind of Unemployment Insurance for being off because of a medical reason. One of the many ways my old company screwed me over.

Of course I am planning to keep writing the rest of the year. Whether or not I get another million will remain to be seen but I can without a doubt say I'll beat last year's total of 1,440,350. I won't beat out the novel total of 16 but definitely the words.

I do have to say, Avalora School of Magic and the fan fiction will be the bulk of whatever my final number is. Am I going to write the other novels listed in the Novel Series Tab? Well, hopefully. I at least want to get Tale of the Twins Book 3: Heaven vs. Hell written once I re-edit Book 1 and go through Book 2. Will I write any of the others? No idea. I do want to finish Glory Hole: Kids. Besides that, no clue.

I have found that writing something as long as Avalora (again over 300K and nowhere close to being finished) is both refreshing and daunting. That 345K is the first term of first year. There's a second term to first year and NINE MORE YEARS of schooling for these kids, PLUS at least a chapter or two for all six of them after graduation. It literally is Friends meets Harry Potter.

I'm also finding writing the fan fiction, knowing not many people (if any) will see it to be refreshing as well. Hey, I might post it up on wattpad or fanfiction.com but I don't have to. It can be totally mine. It might be safer that way...ahaha. As for why the Naruto-verse: I watch a lot of anime, and yes I have gone to conventions and dressed up. Once as Misa Misa from Death Note and once as Lust from Fullmetal Alchemist (Brotherhood). I find it funny I kind of went backwards in the whole writing path. Most people practice with fan fiction before moving onto original characters.

Not me. I did original character then wrote fan fiction. Technically at the start of this almost twenty year adventure of writing I started with fan fiction but I didn't know it was called fan fiction...

ANYWAY. For those wanting to reach a million in six months it's easy. Just have a mental breakdown so you have 8+ hours a day to write and just keep writing. Actually, skip the mental breakdown part and keep writing. It's probably safer for your mental health that way. Not that writers are sane people in any sense of the word.

Until next time: thoughts, comments, questions, rants, rages, and out-right insults can be directed to the comments section.

2015 Novel Series #3: Death's Feet

So this is one of those novels I'd started, scrapped, re-started, scrapped and re-started then finally finished. The first two incantations didn't have much of a plan. It was about these six characters who worked for Death and had to make sure the souls of the dead moved on. Yes, very much like Dead Like Me. There was a main conflict but no real purpose. The bad guy wanted to stop Death for no apparent reason.

I let it sit. I re-read both tries. Then I decided to put all my focus onto one character, one of Death's Grim Reapers and everything made sense. Instead of helping souls move on, the Grim Reapers now collect the souls and bring them to death in reliquaries. There are different levels of Grim Reapers: normal reapers, the Leaders of Crews (generally five), and the Grave Robber who is a special sort of reaper that can physically see a soul if it hasn't been captured in a reliquary.

The story focuses on Rosalynne, a Grave Robber who thinks she's found her soul-mate again after 200 years. Then all Hell breaks loose and someone jumps her while she's gleaning missed souls from the cemetery. This attacker takes her reliquaries and we find out someone's trying to thwart Death. Why? That's for Death Herself to figure out.

Death Herself, Amorita, plays a more active role in this incantation than she did in the prior two. She's directly involved with the group as she had been but she's more active when it comes to actual plot. In the others, she was just there as kind of a like a guide character. In this one, she's a plot point.

This is also the novel I used for Camp NaNoWriMo, April edition. It wasn't a good Camp because again, I was in a cabin where the other people weren't active. Most of them put up a goal and then bailed. One other person tried to regularly talk but everyone else kind of took off. It's disappointing which is why you didn't see my weekly updates about Camp this year. Onwards with the novel summary.

Genre: Urban fantasy? Supernatural? I've no idea.

Word Count: 69,908

Prompt: The show Dead Like Me

Main Characters: Rosalynne, Amorita (Death Herself), and the Baddie.

Minor Characters: Simon, William, Max, Tim, Steve, Barb, Ruby, and the other Grim Reapers. Yes, ordered in level of importance. Ha.

Summation: Rosalynne never thought she'd fall in love again until she met William. The problem? Rosalynne's been dead for 200 years and works as a Grim Reaper, an assistant under Death Herself. Can William be Rosalynne's reincarnated lost lover or is something or someone trying to thwart Death?

High Points: Amorita. She was such a fun character to write. Most specifically? The scene where she goes to Heaven to talk to God and Lucifer about Purging the world so she can kill off all the people taking the reliquaries in one go.

Low Points: Ending the novel. Seriously, when you've had something in your head for so long stewing and it's finally done it's like you're missing a part of yourself now or something. I'll miss these characters.

The World: Ours but with an incarnation of Death walking around as well as people who work for her who can't die.

Memorable Lines:

Trust Simon to give her an early job. The job forced her to push her legs to their limits in racing half way across the city to get to the location on time. She shifted the handles on her bike, pulling up slightly to jump the curb and veered around the idiots on the sidewalk. Sure, she was supposed to be in the bike lane running along the side of the road but she didn't trust the motorists trying to get to work before 9AM.

Rosalynne swung her bike around an older woman walking a yappy dog and got some small sense of satisfaction when an idiot trying to take a selfie had to step to one side or be run down by her bike. She heard a curse but didn't bother to look over her shoulder. One hand did come up to give the thwarted selfie-taker a one fingered salute.

The music in her ears changed to a heavier beat and Rosalynne grinned. The pounding bass did nothing for her headache but it would help her concentrate on getting to the job before her real job. Oh the joy of working overlapping shifts of sorts. Simon couldn't even give her later work if he wanted. He gave her what fit into her schedule as given to him by Amorita.

Amorita, the mysterious woman Rosalynne, Simon, or anyone else on the team didn't want to meet. Amorita could keep to her shadows and be nothing but a name to Rosalynne for as long as her second life continued. Amoirta, Lady Death, Keeper of Souls, Grim Reaper, whatever name a person could come up with for her could stay secluded in whatever place she called home in this city. Rosalynne wished Lady Death had elected to live anywhere else. Wished wouldn't do her any good so she kept pedaling. Maybe she'd get lucky and wouldn't have to follow an ambulance to a morgue.

"You're not a good Grim Reaper," Robert told her.
She chuckled at him and she felt him watching her. She shrugged.
"You can tell that to Lady Death when you meet her but she'll just laugh," Rosalynne said.
Robert gasped and Rosalynne watched him consider her words.
"You're not Death?" Robert enquired.
Rosalynne shook her head. Robert blinked and waited.
"I'm one of her Grim Reapers. My job is to gather lost souls and bring them to her so she can bring them into the afterlife. She's the one who can tell you what happened to you and your family, not me. I do her legwork," Rosalynne said.

"So, someone stole your Grave Robber's reliquaries,"
Lady Death's voice was smooth but unnerving. It made Rosalynne want to run screaming from the room but she was paralyzed. It took Rosalynne a moment to realize Lady Death had not posed a question. She had made a statement.
"Yes," Simon agreed.
His voice was light and Rosalynne could see the sweat beading across his forehead. Simon didn't know what happened when reliquaries were taken. Rosalynne hoped he might have an idea. Apparently Lady Death could be the one to know.
"Twelve you said,"
A second statement, like she wanted to confirm whatever Simon had told her on the phone. Simon nodded this time. Lady Death took a long drag off her cigarette and exhaled five smoke rings. She was the image of calm. Rosalynne knew somewhere inside, maybe deep inside, Lady Death was not as relaxed as she seemed.
"Rosalynne," Lady Death said.
If Rosalynne had been standing she would have fallen over. She did have to tighten her grip on Barb's hand but Barb squeezed back as hard.
"You didn't see him or sense him,"
Again, not a question but a verification of fact. Rosalynne nodded. Lady Death shifted her head to look at her and Rosalynne lowered her eyes as to not meet Lady Death's gaze. She knew Lady Death would take no offense.
"Odd the Grave Robber couldn't sense him," Lady Death went on. "Not that you're the most powerful of the Grave Robbers, a child still in terms of it, but even so you should have sensed him alone in the cemetery."
...
"Even a normal Grim Reaper should have sensed him. Odd," Lady Death said.
Instead of putting out her cigarette in the ash tray, she flicked it onto the carpet. Simon winced but said nothing. Lady Death didn't even squish the cigarette to put it out. It didn't burn through the carpet and no smoke coiled from the discarded cigarette. It was as if the life had left it the moment it left her fingers. Rosalynne did not want to linger on the thought.

Amorita let out a long breath and stepped forward. To anyone watching it would look as if her body liquefied then flowed through the bars to solidify on the other side. To her the movement felt like taking a step as normal with no barrier in between. She went where she wished when she wished and nothing could impede her.
"Look out!"
Something hit her from the side and Amorita felt the sensation of flying. She landed, feeling roughness biting at her flesh as her body rolled. She heard yelling and screaming, squealing, honking, but none of it mattered. The attacker was gaining distance. Amorita blinked at the sight of blue sky above her head and shifted.
Nothing hurt. Nothing ever hurt so she sat up. People were near her, telling her to stay still and for a moment she didn't understand why. Then she looked down at herself. There was a bone peeking out of one leg and blood flowing from the wound. Her left arm was mangled as well and there were patches of skin that had been torn away. She supposed people would consider her lucky to come away so unscathed. This was an inconvenience. (Says the one who just got hit by a car...lol)
...
Stupid cars and their ability to sneak up on her. Some inventions weren't worth it. (snickers)

"Powers above and below can't end her because they end their method of getting souls. From what she tells us, she came first, so I don't think the Rules apply to her. If she wants a tsunami to hit Japan again because she thinks it'll be fun then she'll do it." (She being Death of course)

"I've been fighting this group for centuries now and every time I thought I had them finished they came back. This time they only waited four years. No, I'm done being gentle. I will purge the world: hurricanes, tornadoes, tsunamis, earthquakes, and war. I suspect when it's all said and done over four billion will be dead," Lady Death said.
...
"But that's, you can't,"
"Who's going to stop me? God? Lucifer? You? No. The purging stats in one week..."

"What's this all about, Death?" God asked.
"The faction is back," Amorita said.
"Oh, well, don't you normally handle it without meeting us?" God questioned.
...
"Normally but this time I'm finishing the group," Amorita said.
"Oh, good. Well, have at it then," God said and began to stand.
"You sure you want to tell Death to 'have at it' without hearing her plan?" Lucifer asked.
Damn him. She had almost gotten out of this without having to tell God what she planned to do. God scowled, met Lucifer's eyes then looked to her. He sat back down. Lucifer chuckled, a little smirk coming to his face and Amorita shrugged.
"I'm Purging the earth in six days," Amorita said.
...
"How many humans do you plan to Purge?" God asked.
"Four billion," Amorita replied.
She hadn't skipped a beat, replying as if she was mentioning the weather. It was her talent, really. The angel dropped his clipboard. Lucifer lost the grip he had on his cigarillo and it dropped onto the table then rolled to the edge, hovering between falling for a few moments before becoming stead. God stared at her with wide eyes and a dropped jaw.
"Four billion?" God questioned.
He sputtered...


"Oh, you're coming with me," Lady Death said.
"Why?" Rosalynne managed.
Lady Death smirked.
"Back-up,"

(Amorita and the Baddie fighting in her apartment. She's been slamming him against walls and making a general ruckus)
"This is your neighbour in four. Do you mind keeping it down? I'm trying to put my kid down for a nap."
"Sorry, deciding the fate of the universe in here," Amorita said.

"I can't believe you just dropped that like it was nothing," the man said, pointing at her discarded cigarette.
"And I can't believe you dared to stop me," Amorita said.

"Eternity's a long time. At least I know how to amuse myself."

Writing While Female

If you don't know by now a lot of what I write (including for this blog) is inspired by real life. Considering what most of my topics are this can be a bit scary. Anyway, on June 4 there was a hashtag trending that caught my interest. The hashtag? #WritingWhileFemale.
My contribution to this hashtag is shown in the image.

Nine re-tweets and fourteen favorites is a freaking lot for me. I don't get that kind of traction on any of my tweets (except the Stephen King quote about Kindles vs. books) so it was kind of nice to see. No one commented except for one guy and it was a simple comment "Not for most of history."

And he's right. Women have not written about dragons, bloody battles, magic, murder, and mayhem. Typically it's been thought women only write romance and erotica. But this is a new age. J.K Rowling wrote Harry Potter where all of the above is featured. Ursula Le Guin? Same. Anne Rice wrote the vampire chronicles. Karin Slaughter has 13 (or more) books that are categorized as mystery fiction. Tanith Lee was recognized as a science fiction and horror author. Susan Collins and the Hunger Games.

Before I continue I would like to make one thing perfect clear: I am not a feminist. I am an equalist. What does that mean? I want everyone, male, female, black, white, Asian, Muslim, Jewish, Catholic, gay, straight, transgender and everything in between to have the same rights and opportunities as anyone else. I believe what defines you is your personality and your morals, not the color of your skin, your gender, sexuality, race, or religion. All those traits make who you are physically and can shape your personality, yes, but what's important is your morals and your skills.

Moving onto our original topic of "Writing While Female:"

The problem is society's view of female authors is we do, in fact, ONLY write romance. The worst part is some women have gone so far as to reduce their feminine first names to nothing but an initial so they can be picked up by male readers. Males will go into a store, see a female author's name and think about the book making a good gift for the women in their life.

I don't pay attention to the name on the cover of a book but yes, most of the books I've read have been written by men. Why? Because males sell more books and many female authors who want to be taken seriously in the field take on a male pen name to sell more books. We all know the story of J.K Rowling being told to use her initials instead of her first name to appeal to male readers. We know Nora Roberts became JD Robb to release her true crime series. And again Rowling used a male pen name to release more "serious" fiction.

This is why Writing While Female is so important. Female writers, even today, do not get the same respect as male authors. Males are reviewed more, they're published more, and their male names are seen as a sign the book will be good. Society still thinks women can't write any serious literature, that we're good for writing fluff.

It's insulting. The fact that in order for me to be seen as a "good" author I have to become D. VonRavenstone is a slap in the face. Yes, I am female. Yes, I write about magic, dragons, blood, mayhem, and misery. Yes, I collect swords, bones, and wear a lot of black. Yes, I have an odd fascination with death and the world ending. Yes, I watch horror movies. NO. I do not watch nor do I focus on romance all the time. I often roll my eyes when a romantic subplot makes itself known in any novel or movie.

I don't want kids. I'm not concerned about finding a husband. I mow my own lawn, wash my own car, and open my own jars. I sometimes play with spiders before I kill them and occasionally set them free. I strongly dislike both Twilight and 50 Shades of Gray. I do not go into the romance section of any store. I hate the color pink.

So why is it my double X chromosome dictates I can only write fluffy romance? Why is it no one bats an eye when a male author writes romance but everyone flips their s*** when a female author makes it big in a non-romantic genre? Why are we still living in the 1950s?

Until next time: thoughts, comments, questions, rants, rage, and out-right insults can be directed to the comments.