Tale of the Twins: The Re-Vamp

Shush, I'm totally allowed to have a corny pun.

Anyway, yes, I am re-vamping the Tale of the Twins. For those that don't know: I started this self-publishing journey back in March 2010 with the novel The Tale of the Twins (ToT). Yes, five freaking years ago. Go check back to the first post of this blog. I'll wait. Good? Good. *winks*

Moving on, it took me two of those five years to realize the vanity press I had gone through for ToT wasn't helping as I thought they would. Why'd I waste three more years? I was depressed. I still kind of am but that's not the issue here.

I was stuck in the vanity press and didn't know how to get out. I couldn't do any deals for the pricing of the book, I didn't like the cover, and I started to hate the story so I didn't bother marketing it. I didn't even get a sale for four years. My self-published books (unedited and put out in haste) were doing better as a whole than ToT. I'm fairly sure I've had more views to Avalora than I've ever had to ToT and Avalora's only been out for 8 days.

So, I finally said enough and bought back my rights. Basically it was an invisible bit of documentation saying I "owned" the story again. I didn't get images and the inside they did give me is so horribly formatted I can't even use it anyway. I'll have to compare it to the edited version I was given. Yes, it was a major set-back.

Enough of the whining and onto the good news.

I WILL be re-publishing Tale of the Twins this year. I want to read through the entire story again and make a few changes here and there, possibly drop a few characters (not sure yet), definitely drop the general swearing going on, spread out character descriptions better, and tweak a few things. Basically I'll be bringing it more in line with my 2015 writing style.

So when will it come out? I've no idea. This year hopefully before National Novel Writing Month because I need to work on Book 3 for NaNo. It's the only way I'll ever finish the damned series and in order to even write Book 3 I have to revisit Books 1 and 2.

This raises the question of when Book 2 will come out. Well, that depends on YOU. Editing costs money and I refuse to release a full length piece of fiction without proper editing. If you're going to be paying me $3.99-$4.99 for this book I want to make sure you get your money's worth. It's only fair.

So, what have I been doing since I bought my rights back in January? Waiting for the rights to come to me. Yeah I know. But I got them back last month and started putting together a brand-spanking-new cover...as seen below:

Yes, it's similar to the old one but it's something I can be proud of. I never really understood why there was water in the background of the old one or why the heads of both figures looked so fake. Plus Lysandra has her scythe so that's a bonus. I would've given Leopold his guns but it may have looked a bit awkward considering where his hands are...*cough*

I PROMISE I will be taking the time I do have to re-read ToT so it can be updated. Don't hold your breath as it is a huge undertaking as I'm still trying to keep up with Avalora's bi-weekly updates, other novels, and character images for the Avalora crew. Plus maintenance on the website, keeping this blog fairly active and working 8.5 hours a day, not including travel, so yeah. It'll take a while. But Tale of the Twins will return.

And if we're good, maybe this time around Book 2 can be published because I'll gain enough profit from Book 1 to edit Book 2. Then maybe, just maybe, we'll see how the damn thing ends.

Until next time: thoughts, comments, rages, rants, questions, and out-right insults can be directed to the comments section.

Is it 2013 all ready?

I'm just as shocked as everyone else that it's 2013. It seems like a few days ago it was still November and I was hacking away at NaNo.

Speaking of, I never did put up a NaNo Week 4 blog, did I? Sorry time got away from me again and I failed to catch it until recently.

Anyway, I accomplished my NaNo2012 goal of 200,000 words on the 26th of November. Chosen Ones of the Forbidden Object clocked in at about 152,000 words so I had to finish the novel I started in October to get my final goal. I was supposed to take last month off to edit all eight (yeah EIGHT. I'm shocked about it too) novels that I wrote last year but that didn't go as planned.

I did re-read every novel I wrote last year as well as the two NaNo novels from 2010 and 2011. I also spell-checked, grammar checked and made a few little adjustments to plot and consistency. It wasn't the major editing I was planning but at least I know where they all stand.

Onto new things since this is a new year and all. I'm making a list of goals this year. No, not resolutions. I forget about resolutions within a week of making them. If I call the following my goals then I'm more likely to get them done. My goals for this year:

1) Write 1 million words from Jan 1 to Nov 30: Otherwise known as Milwordy except I'm doing it in 11 months instead of a year. I'm also using a nifty online tracker called Write Track and keeping a running month tally through Notepad (because I'm special). The Notepad file will also have the stories I'm working on and goal reminders that I can't keep in the tracker. Going along with this goal is the goal of finishing about nine (9) novels this year. Why nine? Well, I figure that's how many it'll take to get to a million words.

2) Write 225,000 words for NaNo13: I have to beat the 200,000 from 2012. I made it my goal when I first started NaNo in 2010 that every year after I'd beat my goal by at least 25K. Why? Because I'm freaking nuts like that.

3) Finish Tale of the Twins: URG! Book one was finished in 2009. Book two finished in 2010. Book three? It's still stuck on chapter 6 or something. This was also my goal for last year (September more specifically) but I wasn't feeling it. I know I'll have to read right from the beginning to understand what's going on. I know the basics but there are details I'll probably have to remember at some point.

4) Promote (Blogging, twitter, etc): I need to but I'm not entirely sure where to start. Posting more is obvious but I tend to lack a memory when it comes to logging into things and posting random bits of information. Plus my life is relatively boring (besides writing) so I don't have much to talk about. Unless of course people want to hear about my random musings which may or may not include unicorns.

5) Get into shape, preferably something other than round. I don't mind being round really but I'd like to have the energy I used to when I wasn't so round. Plus I'd like to be able to fit into all my old summer clothes from the year before last.

6) Get my finances in order. This may require finding a new job. As much as I love my job it's not enough anymore and I hate having to choose between paying a bill or buying things I need.

So those are my goals for this year. I know 1 and 2 I can complete without issue so long as I don't break both arms or something crazy. The other four will be challenging for different reasons. Now I know someone out there is wondering why 'Get published' isn't on there. Technically I am published. Self-published yes, but published.

I know I'm not famous but I'm not really aiming to be. It's enough that I get the stories out of my brain. I know, I know, I'm weird for writing without thinking of publishing. Writing is my main interest. Just because it's something I do in my spare time doesn't mean that I want to be famous for it. I'll always write because it's something I do.

I'm going to stop right there simply because I'll get onto a long ramble if I keep going and this blog post will take up fifty pages. Well, not literally but it would be close enough. This is good-bye for now. I'm sure I'll be back eventually so long as time stays where I last put it. It's a tricky thing, time. It tends to wander off when you least expect it or hide when you really want it. Good night and don't let any nasty critters wander off with anything important.

Zombie Fish and why I love Shun: Shameless Self-Promo ahead

Yes, you DID read that right: zombie fish. The anthology is out, you can find it here at Smashwords.com or here on the website.

Furthermore, since you're here and reading the blog I have a special treat. Straight from the fourth short story ("In the Water") in "Small Slice of the Undead: A Zombie Anthology" is a preview...of the famed zombie fish of course:

I know I was cursing and talking to myself, but I can't remember what I was saying. I know I turned towards my tanks and what I saw made me shut up and stare.

My fish were all looking my way. Normally I wouldn't be so freaked out because fish tend to look at you when you come towards them, especially Siamese Fighting Fish. Vibrations through the floor and thus through the water in their tanks give them a good enough guess that you're making your way over with either food or to talk. Usually I get one or two looking over, then the others join in. I never get looks from the non-Siamese fish since they're not as attentive or something.

But every single fish in their tank was looking right at me, in formation no less. People say it's creepy when cats stare at you for a long period of time. Imaging having close to 40 fish hovering in their tanks looking right at you, blowing bubbles in a formation similar to migrating birds.

I approached the tanks wearily and stood in front of them. The banging at my door was still happening but I didn't care since I knew it would hold for a good while. I slid to the left and all the fish followed in unison. I moved quickly to the right and they copied.

"What the hell?" I asked myself.

Before I could second guess my thoughts, I pulled the lid up on the miscellaneous tank. I don't think I could have ever prepared myself for the next few minutes. All 20 fish in the tank leaped out of the water and attacked me with their little mouths puckering up and grabbing at the exposed skin of my arms and neck.

"THE FUCK?" I shouted as I flailed and began whipping and bashing fish off me.

They were like leeches and no matter how hard I squished or how much I floundered about they clung to me. I finally had enough and began ripping them off by their tails. Once every fish was nothing but an oozing mess on the floor I gasped in a few deep breaths and examined the wounds.

Twenty chunks of flesh were missing and blood was trickling down my arms and neck....

###

There is one other fun character you'll meet twice in the Zombie Anthology: Shun. Actually there are quite a few fun characters. I enjoyed writing "Bomb" because of a Gothic Kid who calls himself Voltaire. "Itch" has Amber who happens to be Victim Zero, meaning the first person to become a zombie. Of course, "In the Water" has aforementioned zombie fish and "Daddy's Home" has Sam.

Anyway, back to Shun. He appears in the final two stories, "Recording" as well as "Video Feed" and I love him. It might have something to do with the fact he's Asian and I have a certain weakness for Asian men. Or it might be the fact that he uses a samurai sword as a weapon and I am morbidly obsessed with swords and other pointy objects. Or it could be that he's the most intelligent of the bunch and really, who doesn't like a smart man?

If you've been following me on Twitter, you will know that Shun is in fact homosexual. I tweeted a conversation between him and Jess on Saturday night where Shun admits to being homosexual with a lot more words then needed:
Shun: "I am a free thinker and my parents did not tolerate free thinking,"
Jess: "Free-thinking?"
Shun: "I prefer men to women...sexually,"
Jess (or Derrick): "Ah..."

There is nothing wrong with being homosexual, I want to make that perfectly clear. I'm open-minded when it comes to things like that. I think the main reason I like Shun is because he's homosexual. For his family, that's a major sin and even after being disowned by everyone he knew back home, he managed to make a few new friends and a good living for himself. He struggled through adversity, moved to a new country, got accepted into a prestigious university, made new friends and bought himself a house.

Then of course zombies happened and it didn't matter what he did or didn't do. He's just one of those characters that really sticks out in my mind. Kind of like La Puce or Anguish from the "Tale of the Twins" trilogy (Book 1 is out now), or Daimin VanHelgrove from another trilogy I'm working on for far in the future. Of course there's the lovely bunch in "Face Snatcher" which will hopefully be out within the next year or so. Yes, I have a lot on my mind. Or my mind has a lot for me to do. Whichever.

Either way, you should check out "Small Slice of the Undead: A Zombie Anthology". Why? Because it has zombies. More specifically, there are zombie fish. There's also a homosexual Asian man. The Government also admits to creating zombies. Oh and there's aliens. Well, mention of "aliens". Also, it would benefit your own survival if zombies ever attacked. I mean you would know what to do if a bomb went off, or you got really itchy, or green goo appeared in your water, or you woke up dead, or you saw people generally eating each other in a really horrible way.

Plus zombies are cool. They have the whole undead-brainless-will-eat-you thing going on. Actually there's brainy zombies in the anthology. Yes, THINKING zombies. Who would have thought? Anyway, do it for the zombie fish. Do it for Amber, Shun, La Puce and Anguish (who you won't meet if I can't get a good editor ;) ). Do it for the love of all characters and the enjoyment of all living-dead things.

Do it for Daimin VanHelgrove because he's an evil manipulative bastard and if you don't, he'll come after you....once he's done fighting the forces of evil. Yes. Evil fighting evil. Trust me, Daimin's evil incarnate. Pure badassery. As in gets pleasure out of torturing people badassery. Destroying entire planets on a whim. Collects an army of dead (more zombies) to do his bidding. Yeah. Oh and he can't be killed easily. So you get to see him maimed and as he heals, he laughs manically about the attempt as he murders the maimer in the slowest most painful way possible. Now do you see why he's my favorite?

So do it because you want to meet more of my characters. Go on, get the anthology. Get Book 1. It'll make me happy. And when I'm happy, I write more. When I write more, you get to read more. See, it's a win/win situation all around.

Now, don't be so disappointed. I warned you about the shameless self-promoting in the title. And if you are disappointed, buy the anthology anyway. It'll make you happy. Plus it's cheap and you're only losing to try a new author. Expand your horizons before I become exceptionally popular (insert your laugh here, go on, I'll understand) and have to jack up my prices.

Thus my self-promotion rant is over. Enjoy:
Website: http://www.vonravenstone.com/store.html
Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/81428

Why I love Tim Burton and why my Book isn't like Twilight.

So as a few people may or may not know, I went to LA recently (heck check the last blog post ;) ) to pitch Tale of the Twins Book 1 as a movie idea to Hollywood executives. The gathering of literary minds was phenomenal. There was such a variety in work, it left me somewhat stunned.

Here I was going against another 150 authors to get this potential once-in-a-life-time chance to be something other than a half-assed secretary working a mundane 9-5 job. Don't get me wrong, I like some aspects of my day job but being completely serious, I'd rather stay at home and play video games or write all day. Oh and I'd like to get out of bed a lot later in the morning. I like sleep and relaxing, it's the holiness of all things holy.

Anyway, the first part of this exciting event went off well. I met a few authors during the evening on Friday and tried not to sink too far into the lawn in 4-inch stiletto heels. Authors are an interesting bunch. There were authors writing about sex and prostitutes and authors writing about alien races battling against each other. One wrote a children's story about a lost kitten, another a children's story about a mischievous dog. So much diversity, so little time to absorb it all.

Our goal (as any author's goal) was the same: to be noticed. To achieve that life-long dream of being famous because of the written world. To be able to stop living a mundane life and live off the bank account of something that popped out of your imagination.

Whether or not we succeed in this goal depending solely on our own talents of pitching our book idea in three minutes to people looking for ideas. Oh and we only had one night and one day to learn how to make this pitch perfect. Were the odds against us? Oh yes. But from what I hear, 46 people received a "call-back" asking for copies of the book.

Saturday morning brought a bout of nausea and I felt like calling off the whole thing. But I managed to get down to the meeting hall where two semi-famous Hollywood folks taught us how to pitch. It was then that I for one, figured out that everything I had done was probably wrong and re-wrote the entire thing from scratch.

After the lesson, we practiced pitching in front of one of the Hollywood folks. I was told my story was interesting but I had to learn how to breathe. Usually I'm not so nervous when speaking to people about my ideas (God knows I wasn't when describing my story to other authors), but I was in L.A. Alone. Surrounded by people and trying to capture that one moment that would potentially catapult me into fame. Yeah, nerves were required.

Then the pitching itself. I won't bore you with details. I pitched to 9 different Hollywood agents, they asked questions and I answered. It was over too quick for me to actually think. Then there was a short 15 minute author interview, a final wrap-up and we were all free to crawl back to the hovels or under the rocks from which we came.

Not me, I had another author interview the next day. Then it was back on the flying metal tin-can and back home to Canada to wait. Yes, wait. We weren't to receive any results until August 8th. For those of you keeping track, that was yesterday.

Before I get into results, I need to say a few things. I knew that despite what happened, the trip wasn't a waste. I toured LA and went to the tar pits. I got a replica of a freaking Saber tooth cat fang. I got to see the Tim Burton exhibition at the LACMA. I got to meet other authors and discuss their novels.

I love meeting other authors, even if it's online. I love talking about myself (as you can plainly see) and I love talking to people about their work, or my own. I LOVE looking at the bones of dead things (this is where the tar pits come in) and I LOVE Tim Burton - in a totally not-obsessive fan-girl way.

Tim Burton is creepy, funny, and his art/movies makes you take a step back and thing: "What the Hell IS that?" I get chills remembering some of his work. I can't say he's been my biggest motivation for writing or anything, but I like looking to his work for creepy inspiration. And Edward Scissorhands has always been one of my favourite movies.

I think this creepy obsession goes hand in hand with my love of bones (I was going to say dead things here but that might make some people think I'm a necrophiliac or something). I took an online forensics course to learn more about how to tell how a person died by their remains, a la CSI. I've always been absolutely fascinated with the human body and the concept of death.

As for my love of talking to people, well that comes and goes. Sometimes I'm the most anti-social person you could ever meet. Other times, you can't get me to shut the hell up. Especially about story ideas. I love hashing out ideas with other people or talking to people about my ideas. For instance, I love mentioning my zombie anthology. Zombies combine all my loves: creepiness, bones, death and writing. What more can a morbidly obsessed girl want?

Speaking of the anthology: it comes out this coming Monday after I meticulously edit it for another few days. And decide whether or not the cover is really as good as I think it is.
Getting away from my insistent rambling: the results of the Hollywood pitching in LA are in. And no, I won't be getting a six or seven digit figure for someone to horrendously negate the original concepts of Book 1 so they can be transferred to the big screen. No Hollywood moment for me, no one-hit wonder here and certainly no movie deal.

Is it discouraging? Hell yes. Am I depressed? Oh *insert expletive here* yes. Do I care? Oddly, not really. Yeah, I was rejected but who wasn't their first time around? It would be insane of me to think after one try (technically 9 in this case) that I would hit the big one. Am I jealous of the ones that did? Certainly. It doesn't mean I'm going to give up, oh no.

It just means I'll work that little bit harder to get my name out there even if I'm a crazy-cat lady at 40 still spouting the same nonsense about my books and my work. Actually, crazy-cat lady seems like a good goal, I've always loved cats.

The only thing that irked me about the results is one agent said the following:"It feels too much like Twilight." Wait, what? There were no werewolves mentioned in my pitch. There was no human falling in love with a vampire in my pitch. My pitch was about the multiple-personality, insane, lovable spy La Puce and how he both saves and destroys the world in almost the same breath. Where the heck does Twilight fit into that?

Book 1 is about vampires blowing each other up, setting each other on fire, maiming each other, magically transporting themselves through portals, a fight of riddles with a dragon, magical spells, a sword called the Hell-blade that was made in a Satanic ritual, vampires killing humans for sport (and food, let's not forget that), and world domination that includes enslaving the human race. So, I'm sorry: "feels too much like Twilight"?

Bah. Really, if you're not interested in Book 1 now you should be ;). There's a lot of blood and gore in there (near the end mainly, that's when the big war breaks out) and some magic just for fun. Oh and Book 2 has zombies. And the Hell-beast. Oh and the actual blood and gore is almost half the book.

On a serious note (which is very rare for me), the comparison was mote. It seems that the moment someone mentions the word "vampire" people automatically think "Twilight". It used to be that people automatically thought of Lestat or Dracula. Now it's Edward Cullen and Bella Swan. I actually had to change the name of one of my characters from Isabella to something else for just that reason, even though the name Isabella made sense in the context that was being used and I hadn't heard of Twilight yet. Kudos to Stephanie Meyer for creating such a fandom.

Despite the words above, I'm not bitter. Merely impressed and fascinated. Okay, maybe a bit bitter that an agent thought my book was like Twilight but solely for the reason that it's completely different. That's like saying Dr. Seuss is similar to Shakespeare. And don't read too much into that comparison because I don't mean it any kind of insult to Meyer or myself. I admire her tenacity and her ability to create such an empire out of her work.

Either way, my work wasn't the break-out hit some Hollywood agent/company was looking for. Now, you're thinking: but what will you do now Renna? Well that's easy. I'm going to keep writing, editing, staying up until obscene hours of the night trying to be social network savvy and working my 9-5 job until I actually make something of the little ideas I scribble onto paper when I can.

And you're thinking: but why? Well, because I love my characters, I love writing and I love the handful of people that are my fans. I may not have the funds to put out Book 2 (buy Book 1 and you get Book 2 faster ;) ) but I do have enough funds so people don't forget I'm around. And once Book 2 gets edited (because in all reality my grammar/spelling is sometimes atrocious), it will grace the Internet with its presence. Then I'll write Book 3 and people will hate me for the ending, I'm sure.

But to hate me, you must first like me enough to give the first two Books a chance. Law of averages or something. And even when you do hate me, you'll want to read more so you can wonder where I get my literary genius from (you can laugh, I won't know).

To conclude this rant: buy Book 1. Do it for the love of Tim Burton. Do it for the love of morbid things. Do it for the love of authors. Do it for the love of the written word. Or do it just because you liked (or hated) this little rant. I don't need to know your reason, but I will thank you profusely because I love you.