PANIC

I did it.

I submitted Lies to the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award Contest.

WHAT HAVE I DONE?

*deep breaths*

Okay, I'm (kinda) good. This is a big thing for me. I can boast all I want about writing for as long as I have or writing as many words as I have BUT...I've never entered a writing contest before. There, I admitted it. I've never entered a writing contest.

I'm one of those people who is seriously introverted. It's really hard for me to talk to new people and unless I really know someone well, I clam up. I'm much happier sitting in my house with my cat and writing. Ask my friends: I don't go out much, if at all.

But it's always been my dream to be published and with my 9AM-5PM being as dismal as it is I've decided that I'm tired of working. If I'm going to spend the rest of my life doing something: it's going to be writing. And in order to do that I have to put my work out there which is nerve wracking as Hell.

Entering the ABNA contest is the first step. Either today or tomorrow I plan to submit to some agents. God knows I've got enough books to do it with, most of which aren't even in the same genre.

Basically I'm warning you all to be prepared. I don't deal with rejection well, at least I don't think I do. It's been a while since I've been rejected.

Now I know some people out there think it's a waste of time and energy to take a rejection personally. They can believe that all they want and if it helps them to move on from a rejection then fine.

For me, it is personal. I've spent countless hours and loads of energy dumping passion into something that I love. My characters might be able to handle the rejection (a good deal of them are mentally strong enough) but their creator? Not so much.

But I owe it to my characters to get their stories out there. Someone is bound to love or hate them as much as I do. If I ever do get well-known enough they may not like the whole fan-fiction aspect but it comes with the life of being a character.

I'll just have to remember that even if one person (or dozens...EEK!) reject me that they're not the only people in the world. I have made it my goal to become published in some way or another and it's going to happen. Either that or I'll fail miserably and sink into my little cave of writing until I grow back the courage to try again...

Either way, I refuse to quit once I start. I won't drop out of the ABNA contest unless I get pushed out because people don't like what I've entered. And if I get pushed out I'll be querying agents with Cara and Face Snatcher. If that doesn't work I'll try one of the others in my Novel Series.

As for right now: I'm going to go eat so chocolate, snuggle with my cat, and take some deep breaths. It'll be okay, right?

Until next time: comments, questions, rage, rants and everything in between can be directed to the comments.