It's officially past the middle of CampNaNoWriMo July edition. That means most people should be at a little over the half-way point with their goals. For me and other over-achievers out there it means we're either really close or finished with the 50K goal. I'm at 72K. I'm considered an over-achiever for a reason.
Anyway, despite having the 50K for this camp under my belt and being the biggest contributor to my cabin's word count: I'm not happy.
I know, I know, I should be happy, right? I mean I've got 72,000 (ish) words of a story that I didn't have at the beginning of the month. Technically speaking, 44K of those words are from a different story. I rebelled the first week and finished one up before starting Training Grounds which is my July Camp novel.
Even still I've got about 28K of Training Grounds complete. So I should be happy. Again, I'm not happy. Not one bit.
Well, I have no idea how this thing is ending. Let me repeat that: I don't know how this thing is ending.
That is a big problem for me. I can't concentrate on a project unless I know for sure how it ends. Normally that ending is written out before I even start or I figure it out within the first five chapters. I'm on chapter ten. I still don't know how this is ending.
Now I have an idea of how it ends. I've got a scene pictured in my mind of my main male character destroying The Big Important Thing and all Hell breaking lose. As to whether or not the group with my MMC lives or dies: I don't know. As to if the aliens take over the world despite losing The Big Important Thing: I don't know. If the Earth goes back to some semblance of order: I don't know. The ending? I DON'T KNOW.
This bugs me (if you couldn't tell all ready) and has made me slow down some. Instead of writing I'm puttering around in the forums and online. I can't wrap my head around how everything ends up or why it ends up like that.
All I know for sure is that I just killed my MMC's best friend of 23 years and he's obviously upset. He will want revenge I'm sure, hence why him destroying The Big Important Thing makes sense. As to if he lives after dealing this revenge remains to be seen. You would think I'd have mercy on the poor guy considering this story is coming from his point of view. I'm not one to practice mercy though. I could kill him off and just end it there so not even I know if the Earth survives.
That would be mean, right?
I'm not that mean. I guess what I'm trying to say is that endings are the things that make me write. I know that sounds odd but there it is. If I can't end it, I can't write it. Oh I can start it and write some chapters but I can't get past a certain point. And trust me, this thing has 17 chapters planned. Can I get to 17? Yeah, probably. Will I end it? Gosh I hope so because unfortunately for me I'm also the kind of author that can't start something new unless the thing before is finished. Yes. I am screwed.
So, this is how CampNaNoWriMo week three has been for me. How has it been for those of you participating? Are you all crazy like me and can't start something before finishing something else?
Until next time: *distant sound of pained screaming* Ignore that. That's just my Inner Editor/Muse going crazy.